Hogwarts Rejection Letters
by Sweet Kagamine Kiss
Summary: A folded parchment written in green ink appears, sealed by a wax coat of arms depicting a lion, a badger, a raven, and a snake. It reads, "Dear Mister Potter..." However, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry receives a rejection letter in reply. Each invitation is responded with ratings in range of Teen to Mature.
1. Original 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer & Author's Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination. This is inspired from **Hogwarts Rejection Letters** written by **Midnighter 13**. Of course... mine is slightly different from Midnighter; each chapter not only HAS the rejection letter, but it comes with its own short little oneshot of the reactions to the letter.

**This will contain some adult material** (nothing too graphic)**, so I have warned you.**

* * *

><p><em>Dear Crazy Psycho,<em>

_Yo, I ain't goin' nowhere to some whack-ass school for "magic". Not only is this the poorest attempt of a prank, but enclosed at the end of this reply is a skillfully detailed impression of myself flippin' the bird while doin' the five knuckle shuffle._

_Emerald_

=0=0=0=0=

"Harry/Emerald!" came the voice of his three sisters.

All three barged into the room just as he finished coloring in his eyes on the picture.

"We want you downstairs!" the girl with blue eyes said, her long straw blonde hair swaying each time she moved. Her other sisters, one with brown doe-like eyes and dark red hair and the other with black eyes and shoulder-length black hair wonder up to him.

"What's wrong, sisters? Some fool trying to make a rap on my hood?"

"No... We just want to have sex again," the dark-haired girl replies with a mischievous smile.

"Jessica (red-head), Alicia (dark-haired), Sarah (blonde), lemme finish this reply to this bogus shit school, then I'll head down. Go warm-up."

The girls all grin and leave, and he watches them as they strip as they head to the stairs to head down.

"God I love them," he says to himself, finishing his cigarette before tossing it out the open window, "life would be different had we not band together and leave that shitty orphanage in Europe."

Folding both letters, he heads out, taking his shirt off and undoing his belt, unaware that an owl with an Hogwarts Emblem had swooped in, and took the letter secured with a simple tied ribbon of black. The preteen gangster wouldn't find the letter hours after the four exhausted themselves in the living room.

Several hours plus an oceanic flight later...

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!"

Not only did she read the rejection letter, but the other teachers were speaking as the second paper was passed. On it was Harry in a crude but detailed art all in black and white. He had long shaggy-looking hair, almost making him near feminine, but not going past the shoulders. The art of Harry Potter was shirtless, with light washboard abs and strange markings drawn on the upper right pectorals. The pants of the artwork were at the ankles along with undergarments, and the right hand was grasping a drawn erect penis (complete with short lines showing "movement") with a squiggle of blobs shooting from the tip. Left hand was up with only the middle finger extended. Artwork Harry was also sticking out his tongue in a childish manner. The only color on the artwork was the green eyes.

"Well... this is artistic," Dumbledore commented once he was the last to see it (handed to him by a grumbling Severus Snape).

Everyone stared at him like he grew two heads and began to spout lemon drops like a fountain.


	2. Slayers 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer & Author's Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

This is inspired from **Hogwarts Rejection Letters** written by **Midnighter 13**. Of course... mine is slightly different from Midnighter; each chapter not only HAS the rejection letter, but it comes with its own short little oneshot of the reactions to the letter. Some are long, others short.

For this one... it's... odd.

And one more thing:

* * *

><p><em>Dear Dumbledork,<em>

_My hot smoking grandma still at the age of twenty, Lina Inverse, tells me about your racist and bigoted world and how you refuse to accept the nineteenth century, and are horribly ignorant of the twentieth century. So, until your society decides to stop being such ignorant pussies, I refuse to step foot into YOUR messed-up society, much less that realm._

_Harry Inverse_

_P.S._

_I refuse the name Potter, and I no longer see that horrid bitch Petunia and her fat-ass husband and son as my blood of kin._

_And one more thing, Dumbledork:_

_Kaboom_

=0=0=0=0=

Dumbledore sets the letter down, his eyes no longer twinkling. Instead, they were expressing curiosity.

"Kaboom?"

Dumbledore's office and most of the tower exploded. The Elder Wand was destroyed, along with the Cloak of Invisibility, Fawkes somehow, against all impossible odds from the very gods and goddesses above and below the various planes of existences, survived. Also to survive was issues of Playwitch magazines within a now ruined platinum safe. The past portraits of the previous Headmasters of the school didn't survive or escape in time, however.

In another universe, Harry and Lina high-fived each other upon the mirror orb breaking when the Solar Bomb spell detonated off the letter. Behind them, Sirius (who had been broken out from Azkaban) and Remus (cured of his werewolf problem and it is now his cuddly furry Animagus form) were sunbathing in nothing more than black and white speedos, while being surrounded by a bunch of cute sexy women in skimpy bikinis on that quiet island beach (they were cooing over the two lucky men).

Off in the distance, ten year old Luna Lovegood (who for some reason stripped out of her bikini) could be seen chasing after a Crumple-horned Snorkack (trying to outrun her aloof hyperness) with a large fishing net while her father and still-surviving mother act lovey-dovey.

* * *

><p><strong>...<strong>

**...**

**...**

**...**

**WARNING: Remus and Sirius in speedos.**


	3. WWE 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer & Author's Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

This is inspired from **Hogwarts Rejection Letters** written by **Midnighter 13**. Of course... mine is slightly different from Midnighter; each chapter not only HAS the rejection letter, but it comes with its own short little oneshot of the reactions to the letter. Some are long, others short. This is even stranger and would make you wonder how I made it partially work.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Ms.Mrs./Miss McGonagall,_

_(I am unsure of your marital status so please excuse me.)_

_My name is Harold Prongs Tatum McMahon. The name Potter has no ties to me, or am I a Mr. Potter. I was found abandoned in an alleyway in New York City behind Madison Square Garden one night, in a trash can at the age of two by my father, Vince; he told me when I was older he heard me when he was with friends of his. I nearly died that night because it was a stormy night, and I was suffering from hypothermia. Vince and Linda took me in, and when no physical records were found of me, even after I was mentioned on world news, they officially adopted me. I enjoy it here with my brother and sister. We're one happy rich family, with a running business._

_Maybe you have heard of it; World Wrestling Federation (WWF)? When I am old enough, I will be joining my family and making the pinnacle boom of professional wrestling reach new heights. As of now, I reject this Hogwarts School, for I have done research, and not such a school exists. I have made a paper copy of this, and turned the original into the local authorities, suspecting this to be a prank however we can never be too careful. Father tells me to tell you that should you come to us, we will call the police on you._

_Harold Prongs Tatum McMahon_

_P.S._

_Magic is but wonderful illusions and doesn't really exist. Also, while reading the letter and this included list of things to buy in this "Diagon Alley" had brought some good laughs with my family and me, I urge you to never darken my life with such a prank. For now, I hope this is the last I hear of this hoax._

=0=0=0=0=

Harry had a lot of fun growing up. He was discovered to be a prodigy by the time he had even turned seven, and was blazing through school. He got several degrees by the time he entered a university at the age of sixteen, and by the time he turned eighteen he was already working full-time with World Wrestling Entertainment (formerly World Wrestling Federation, after a name change in 2002 to avoid lawsuits or something). Due to his character of Harold McMahon, he was the odd one of the family; where the McMahon Empire was primarily the "heels" in several storylines over the years, he was more or less the "baby face" of the family, as well as an official member of D-Generation X when Triple H and Shawn Michaels united in 2006. But outside the wrestling world, the family all loved one another, especially when Harry's sister Stephanie married Paul Lévesque (known as Triple H in the company). Not once was he ever bothered by the Wizarding World, especially since the prophecy in the end (unbeknownst to Harry) was discovered to be a fake, and Trelawney was lying her ass off in order to get a measly little job at the school all those years ago...

Voldemort and all of his supporters were captured and executed by other governing powers of the Wizarding World outside Europe when the British Ministry was seen as too corrupt and unable to sustain itself as a functioning governing body (as decreed by the International Confederation of Wizards, or ICW), and when Voldemort made his only mistake of attacking foreign soil in a power display (the U.S.). As for Dumbledore, it was discovered he was in a second stage of Dementia, due to his rather fanatical obsession of Harry Potter, the fake prophecy (in his bleak mind, refuses to believe it was untrue), and was locked away where he would eventually die in 2037. But Harold never knew any of this or never experienced any of the wonders of the magical world, because his magic when he was abandoned and left to die as a baby, sacrificed itself in order to let him live (and also shatter that soul fragment that leeched off his life force).

But he and the family soon learned the Wizarding World was indeed real (especially after the horrifying attack of terrorism in 2001, where the U.S. government and high-ranking federal offices were let-in on the secret of the Wizarding World's existence). During a WWE Tour in Europe where Cena and Michaels combated one another during a RAW shoot in London, he met a young woman by the name Hermione Granger. Through her, he discovered the existence of his godfathers Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Today, in 2018, Harry and Hermione are happily married and have muggleborn twins, a son and daughter, with a third child on the way; she is already four months pregnant.

"You think James and Lillian are okay, honey?"

"What?"

"Weren't you listening, Harry?"

"Sorry, Mione, I was just wondering about the upcoming WrestleMania XXXV (Thirty-Five), and that little duel I got going with Calaway."

James Vincent McMahon, and twin sister Lillian García McMahon, both age 4, were currently in the United Kingdom, visiting their grandparents and granduncles.

"Calaway... oh right, the Undertaker... he IS getting old. I'm sure it'll all go well in a month, as always."

Harry smiles, and kisses his wife.

"God, I hope so," he says.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I did it... I bet no one had the idea to do something like this.<strong> :3


	4. Touhou 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer & Author's Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

I would like to let everybody know, that in this collection-type story, each written "rejection" is separate from the other unless I state OTHERWISE. For now... here's something that to me sounds a tad dark.

* * *

><p><em>My apologies,<em>

_I refuse to return to that realm. I found a better home here in Gensōkyō, under the loving protection of my new mother figure, Yukari Yakumo. I implore you to never darken my life again, Albus (Too Many Silly Middle Names) Dumbledore._

_Harī_

=0=0=0=0=

Harī finished writing the rather dead-cold threat, before a gap opened before him, and he tosses the letter into it, the ribbons giving way as it seals itself shut. In the backyard, Ran was giving chase after Chen, who was using the Hogwarts owl as a chew-toy (of course, its dead).

"I doubt this is the last we heard of that human wizard," Yukari spoke, sipping the tea Harī beforehand prepared for her.

"I hope to shove Danmaku down his fork-tongued throat if he dares attempt something," Harī mutters, never forgiving the shit that man did in order to control him.

He learned about Dumbledore's true dark intentions with his life when Yukari Yakumo rescued him from a life of abuse at the age of 5. Only five years of abuse, but it had already jaded his soul and darkened his overall look on life. Dumbledore had intentionally allowed Peter Pettigrew to escape in order to have his parents murdered, sent an innocent man to death to remove anybody from challenging his power, and manipulated the strings that was his life. All until Yukari took him away and cut those strings off his soul, his life magic, and most importantly, his heart. The shard soul he let festers in order to also control him was destroyed easily thanks to the combined efforts of the Touhou girls. He was the only human from another border world (aside the humans that exist in Gensōkyō) to exist in the Gensōkyō realm.

He is also the only other human whose uniqueness of Danmaku usage, Gensōkyō Magic, and his world's life energy brought a unique power that even intrigues Flandre (and thus was allowed to exist when she was around; although she was developing a love interest in him).

"No worries, Harī," Yukari tells him, "if he tries anything, then a small hard grope of his heart would convince the man otherwise."

Harī smiled darkly at that.

* * *

><p><strong>A little Touhou crossover for any Touhou fans out there.<strong> OuO

**But there may be more of this in the upcoming future.**


	5. Vocaloid 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer & Author's Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

I am sure you know by now this story was inspired by a similar one written by **Midnighter 13** (only each rejection letter also comes with a variable oneshot story describing reactions), so I won't keep reminding you. In the tab on the top of the right-hand corner of the page where you select what chapters there are, it can hint to you as to what you may be reading... :3

I also accept requests for a specific rejection letter written via PM if you wish to, or left in a review (but don't make a long description of it). It can be anything you like and I'll try my best at doing it. You can also request original material if you wish. For now, accept this rejection letter... from the Vocaloid future.

* * *

><p><em>Hello Mystery Person,<em>

_I would like to say that I too enjoyed creating the song series Hogguwatsu, but honestly, it's just a song. And I am not really Pottā Harī. You know, I'm not surprised at all at this. This isn't the first time I ever gotten crazy fan mail sent to me. Rin-chan's had her fair share, as did my Kaito-nii, my Miku-nee, and the other Vocaloids of our cozy family; but, yes, I apologize if I sound a bit mean, but like I said before; not the first time I met a more-than-off kilter fan girl._

_Sincerely,_

_Kagamine Len_

_P.S._

_Rin-chan will be celebrating the release of a new Vocarock album called Rinpact! You should show your support even though I believe you belong in the mental institution, and purchase it in August._

=0=0=0=0=

Len folded the letter and sets it down into his pile of other fan replies, as the door barges open.

"Len!"

"What?"

"I need your help with something."

"What is it, Rin-chan?"

"That freaky anamorphic grizzly bear and an orange-striped cat's been peeping in on our two youngest Vocaloids again! Kaito and Gakupo have them hogtied. Help me with the super shotguns from our Gundam song series we did."

Len ran after Rin to kill Pedobear and Shotacat. Soon the sounds of chainsaws and gunshots ring out in the backyard but a goofy laugh is heard as the bear that walks on two legs, along with a cat, run away. A flash of light, and Len's reply vanished. In another flash of light, the neatly folded pale yellow stationary with the border of bananas and chibi Len's appear in the bottom of the pile of replied responses to the invitations. Magic altered the letter so that it was translated from kanji, and Americanized.

=0=0=

"Goodness, what an exhausting day," Minerva mutters to herself as she enters her chambers. Hanging up her cloak, she takes a look at the responses sent by mail while she went around the United Kingdom visiting all the houses that were muggleborns.

"I have a lot of work..."

She walks to her desk and begins to check out all of the replies that came from all owled invitations. An hour would slowly go by as she goes through the pile, soon separated into two piles: Accepted and Rejected.

A knock on the door has her looking up from the letter from a rather rude letter from muggle parents who wrote biblical lines and were saying magic is the sin of the devil.

"Come in."

The door opens magically and Fillius Flitwick walks into the room.

"Good evening, Minerva. I see you have a lot of work."

"Yes. I'm only halfway through this year's sent invitations. It's tiring but it's worth it."

"Hm. The Rejection Letter seems a bit light this year," Filius pointed out, as he magicks himself up onto a sofa chair.

"Only twelve rejections... and this one is just rude... calling magic the sin of the devil..."

"Ah," he nods.

"Yes, I had my hand full today, especially when I met a couple who runs a muggle teeth health facility. They had a lot of trouble accepting their daughter Miss Granger had potential to use magic, but they reluctantly accepted it."

The two would make small talk until Minerva halted him as she pulled out the last reply. It was completely different from the rest and both knew this was a muggle stationary. It was pale yellow, and it had a borderline print of what looked like bananas, and tiny drawings of a blonde-haired boy with blue eyes in various poses.

"What is it, Minerva?"

"It's the reply from Mr. Potter."

"Harry Potter?" the diminutive professor squeaked.

She reads it aloud to Flitwick.

_Hello Mystery Person,_

_I would like to say that I too enjoyed creating the song series Hogwarts School, but honestly, it's just a song. And I am not really Harry Potter. You know, I'm not surprised at all at this. This isn't the first time I ever gotten crazy fan mail sent to me. Rin's had her fair share, as did my big brother Kaito, my big sister Miku, and the other Vocaloids of our cozy family; but, yes, I apologize if I sound a bit mean, but like I said before; not the first time I met a more-than-off kilter fan girl._

_Sincerely,_

_Len Kagamine_

_P.S._

_Rin will be celebrating the release of a new Vocarock album called Rinpact! You should show your support even though I believe you belong in the mental institution, and purchase it in August._

"My word," she shouted, offended at being suggested she belong in a mental institution.

"What is a Vocaloid is my question... doesn't sound like any magical creature I ever heard," Flitwick admitted, curious over the strange letter.

"I am not crazy," she said, setting it down.

"We should show this to Dumbledore," Flitwick told Minerva.

She grabs the folded stationary and stands up.

"Yes. Maybe Dumbledore would understand this... this strange reply."

The two left her office.

=0=0=

"I have this odd feeling something weird is happening and it somehow involves me," Len spoke up at the dinner table.

"You didn't piss off a fangirl, did you?" Rin asks.

"No one I haven't met yet," he said, suppressing a shiver.

=0=0=

Vernon Dursley, it was discovered by a now pale shaking Dumbledore twenty minutes later, would be in prison for a 40-year sentence for charges of brutal assault, six years of physical and sexual abuse, as well as the murder of Harry Potter (forensics to this day are still unable to locate a body, or any bodily remains). Petunia as she was also involved was sent to an all-women's prison for a 20 year sentence, although it was soon discovered she committed suicide after one day in the women's prison. Her son was lost in child services.

But, even when this was soon discovered by the rest of the Wizarding World and pandemonium broke out over the news of Harry Potter killed by his muggle relatives five years ago, the otherwise startling reply from Harry Potter's invitation brought many strange questions and even more mysteries, none which would never be explained, long after being lost in the archives of the Department of Mysteries. But no one would never truly know that Harry was indeed alive, but now reborn after wish magic took him to a safer place in the future.

Meanwhile, it would be two hours before the Weasley Family discovered Ginny went missing, having been kidnapped by Pedobear dressed as a Death Eater in colorful robes of pink with flashing rainbows.

* * *

><p><strong>This is a similar situation as to what I had done with that story that many thought would fail:<strong> Mahou no Kagamine (a Harry Potter & Vocaloid Crossover)**.**

**And remember, shoot bears that gawk at children.** :3


	6. Star Wars 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer & Author's Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

* * *

><p><em>Greetings,<em>

_It would seem that judging by this written message, you are from a very primitive home world, or from a primitive culture on a planet not recognized by the Jedi. I must decline your invitation for I am training to become a Jedi under my master Emesis on the planet Corusant. Filing through all known loggings in our data banks, we have never heard of the school known as Hogwarts, and the date called September is also not recognized. However, strange Force powers emanate from the message you have seemingly and without alert, teleported into my bed chambers._

_While such a way of seamless and instant communication would be wonderful when battling against the Sith, the flip-side of such a powerful technique is spies for the Sith discovering and attempting to engineer what I decided to dub "Force Teleport" with their Droids in efforts to destroy us Jedi Warriors before we can defend against the Dark Force-sensitive warriors. Therefore, while I shall not go to your primitive home world to attend some strange school, we do however seek your wisdom in your ability to perform the Force Teleport technique. If you can, respond back so I may relay your response to the Jedi Council._

_Sincerely,_

_Padawan Harry_

=0=0=0=0=

"Now the problem of making this message return is hard," Harry told Emesis.

"Hm, that is true," replied the old Jedi warrior, "however, we will discover how to relay this reply back to its source. For now, tomorrow we have more training to do. You need your rest, young Padawan."

Harry nods, as a yawn escapes his lips.

"Sleep well, Harry," he bids, leaving the young preteen alone as the door swishes open and then closes. He locks his bed chamber door, and darkens his windows to block out the outdoor lights. All lights in the room turn off, and soon Harry drifts into an easy sleep. He was unaware that the letter overnight vanished in the same manner via a "timed Portkey", back to Earth, back to the year 1991, back to a mind-addled Staff of Hogwarts, a confused (and slightly manipulative) Headmaster, and the Sorting Hat feeling awfully smug all of a sudden.


	7. Original 2

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry,<em>

_I know magic but I know enough to not go to one. I'm too busy enjoying wonderful sex with this cute girl who's younger than me at the age of 14 (two years difference as I am 16 but like I give a damn), and I will never share with anybody else, even my best brofriend (that would be brother and friend put together)._

_Harry_

_P.S.: Don't bother me while I'm in the middle of my catgirl fetish.  
><em>

=0=0=

"What the bloody fuck?" was the angry shout of one Minerva McGonagall heard all throughout the castle, a week into the semester.

* * *

><p><strong>Short and to the point. Yup.<strong>


	8. Naruto 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer & Author's Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

* * *

><p>Harold looks to his window, and saw an owl, a bird of prey, sitting there on the window still tapping at the glass pane. He eventually gets up and opens the window, as the bird drops a letter to him made of parchment and flies off.<p>

"What the hell?"

The world-renowned, and youngest author, to have ever created the ever-popular international book series Icha Icha Paradise (at the age of nine), breaks the wax sealing it held... before he makes a raspberry noise and throws the now crumpled hoax out the window.

"Magic indeed... stupid... just who the hell would believe magic exists?"

=0=0=

"Mum! I got a letter invite to a magic school!" an unidentified girl would call to her Catholic parents.

=0=0=

In the following weeks, Harold was being assaulted by various owls, all carrying the same letter. His predicament even made headline news, where people worldwide as it spreads from mouth to mouth, fax, or phone, about Harold complaining that people claiming magic was real and that he was invited to some school. Of course, he finally had enough, and on the Jay Leno show, publicly and verbally wrote back.

_Dear Sir or Madam,_

_Buzz the fuck off. If you have seen the news, everybody worldwide knows of this so-called magic school hoax. As magic is but illusions, your claims are invalid._

_Further attempts to harass me shall be met with swift lawsuits and restraining orders._

_Harold J. Potter  
>World-renowned Author of<br>Icha Icha Paradise_

Needless to say, this did not go well with Dumbledore... he died from suffocation by a lemon drop.


	9. Original 3

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer & Author's Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

* * *

><p><em>Professor McGonagall,<em>

_I am writing to inform you that I will be unable to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as I am currently apprenticed to a wizard outside of the natural stream of time and space. Before you question who, he is supposedly world-renown in your community as a man by the name Merlin._

_Sincerely,_

_Harrison James Pendragon  
>Apprentice of Merlin<br>_

The letter was strange, and many would immediately call it a hoax, and then Dumbledore would have his Order of the Phoenix look for Harry Potter and take him away from whatever evil wizard stronghold he allowed himself to be kidnapped to. But seeing the seal of Merlin on the signature changes things... and with the sign of Pendragon next to it, it made it completely authentic...


	10. Original 4

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer & Author's Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters (like Stein from **Soul Eater**... Stein is awesome XD). All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination. A very cool friend of mine cameo in the story so if you are reading this, I am giving you a thumbs-up, Lucky Star style~

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><p>"I still say that girl was giving you an eyeful on purpose, Harry."<p>

"Oh stop. It's not like she hiked her skirt up, ripped her panties off, and said lick my honey pot in front of everybody in Study Hall."

Harold Evans-Potter. He had emerald green eyes, semi-long unruly dark hair in slick dreadlocks, small-framed silver glasses, and a remnant of a bolt-shaped scar on the temple of his forehead.

"Lick my honey pot? I never heard THAT before, although it would have made a great amateur smut film."

"Yeah, Shi-kun," Harry replies with a grin, "whatever you say, perv."

A laugh is heard.

Shi Hoshikawa. His eyes were chocolate brown, wore a pair of dark-framed glasses which made him look intellect, with hair in short locks around the front but swept a few inches long around the back.

"You know, there ARE some rumors about us being the Black Trio meant in a Japanese anime point of view, we are yaoi lovers."

"Who thinks that's true are fan girls of us, Sekai," Shi pointed out, "so no letting anybody know."

Sekai Ishtal. Long blonde hair down to his rear end mostly kept in a rope-braid ponytail, and eyes an exotic shade of violet.

They were known as the Black Trio. And they wore similar outfits but each person differed. The shared traits were black jeans or black leather pants; currently they chose denim jeans. They always wore Velcro sandals (except in winter), and tend to have black bandanas tied loosely around their necks. But each one differ from here on out. For Harry, he wore a yellow t-shirt with a dark green V-neck tank. Only the right arm two inches above the elbow down is clad in a fishnet stocking that partly covers the lower palm complete with thumb piece. He tends to paint his fingernails the same green shade as his eyes. Shi wore a fitting fishnet tank with a white size-larger A-shirt over that, and had two silver chains hooked to loops on the sides of his pant legs to the back pockets. And Sekai took to wearing a purple t-shirt and a half-buttoned leather black vest with the design of a green dragon on the back. He also wore a gold necklace with a card locket on the bottom which contained a photo of him and his twin sister Rin from age 6.

They were best friends since childhood... they held an open book when it came to sexual preferences... and they were bisexual... yes, you read right.

Harry unlocks the door to Room 403, a corner dorm room on the fourth floor of the Cameron Hall Building on the north side area of the academy lot. Their dorm room was fairly spacious. One side of the wall contained two wide large windows; currently the blinds were open, as are the windows themselves. It provided an excellent view of the campus center, the flower ring and the extravagant water fountain. On the solid wall opposite of the windows were a twelve-seat sectional sofa of a mocha chocolate color, as well as two small bookshelves. An expensive-looking entertainment center of VCR on the top lined by pictures, a big TV, several game console devices and game cartridges inside a glass compartment (Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis) below the counter holding the TV. Two desks also sat in the room by the windows. A door to the left near the back of the room led to a medium yet decent bathroom. A door to the right of the dorm room led to a spacious bed area, with a closet, two large dressers, a smaller curtained window, and a large bed fit for four people.

They drop their book bags on the desks, manage to slip their sandals off into a corner near the desk, and simply collapse into a spot on the sectional. Today was horrible... tests, homework, and little time to do what they like once classes end: play basketball. They strip off their jeans and their outer shirts (and for Sekai, takes his vest off), and be lazy in boxers. The remote was snagged off the end table next to a Gameboy.

"Huh, The Simpsons are on," Harry muttered, as soon as Sekai turned the TV on.

"Oh well. There isn't much to watch in the afternoon, anyway."

=0=0=

A week later and school was out. Summer was nice. They were enjoying the summer vacation at Harry's home. The Evans Family lived in Topeka, Kansas. Their home lot was purchased by the city, given a city ordinance code from the city, and built near a small wooded area. The back yard led to a small sand bar strip, which was by a large lake. It was nice... It was home for Harry... And he loved his mother, father, and little sister Becky very much. So... there was an owl on the right desk, unblinkingly staring upon seeing Harry entering his room, along with his two friends. Shi, Harold, and Sekai, all blinked. The three thirteen year olds were wondering why a barn owl was sitting on the desk with a letter packaged to it.

"Who would use an owl?"

"Aside the Europeans," Sekai added in.

"Aside the Europeans," Harry repeats, heading to grab the letter. As soon as he did, it flew right out his open window.

"... It's from Hogwarts," he said, upon recognizing the wax seal it contained.

Harry breaks the seal and reads what it had to say, as he plops onto his bed while his two friends rummage for his video games.

"Dear Mr. Potter, blah, blah, blah... missing for years but tracked at last... they are sending an invite? Really?"

"You got an invitation to a European magical school?" Shi asks, as he takes the letter and skims.

"But you're already getting great education at Sunnyvale... it'd sound stupid to pack up and go halfway around the world."

Harry agreed with Sekai. "True... that and I'm no longer a British citizen since I now live here with a family here in Kansas that cares for me."

Harry decided to write up a reply. Heading to the desk, he takes out his notebook, turns to a fresh page, and begins to write up the reply.

_Dear Professor,_

_My apologies, however I must refuse your offer of coming to your school. I understand that the letter reported I was missing for several years, however I have my reasons to my so-called disappearance: I am in another school that has invited me and which I and my caring, loving, parents accepted._

_Firstly, accepting to go to Hogwarts means I have to travel. The school in question is all the way into Scotland and it is much too far for me to travel. Secondly, the school in question I am already attending is Sunnyvale Magical Academy here in the United States. And as a school that offers both magical and mundane education, I can be very successful when I finally graduate upon completion of my twelve years of schooling, and will then continue to college or a good university._

_Third, as my two bestest buds Shi and Sekai are as magical as I am; I refuse to leave them behind to go to what I and my two buds have researched to be considered a second-rate school according to the Wizarding Education Percentage. And finally, I am a U.S. Citizen, not a British Citizen._

_I thank you for the offer, but I will not do any transfers and waste my money on expensive travels (unless it's for vacations)._

_Harold J. Evans-Potter_

Harry carefully rips the letter out of the notebook, and folds it before taking out an envelope out of the desk cabinet.

"You, take this back to whoever sent the invitation in the first place."

The owl soon flies away with the letter in its talons, rolled and sealed with one of his star stickers.

"Now what?" he asks, looking towards the two.

"Let's just play some games," Sekai said.

Harry shrugs.

As the summer days went by, Harry, Sekai, and Shi forgot about Hogwarts attempting to "steal" one of Sunnyvale Magical Academy's gifted students. But soon summer ended and Harry and his friends found themselves back in school once again. Now, between Sunnyvale and Hogwarts, Hogwarts starts classes in September 1st while Sunnyvale began in mid August. Therefore, it was during the third day where students of all grades slowly begin to wind themselves back into the role of school students in a muggle-influenced magical school, when this happened...

Harry was in his Science & Biology class, reading alongside the other students as their Professor, Daniel Franken Stein, was speaking about the human anatomy and its health, when there was a tapping at the window, interrupting the professor's lecture. All heads turned to the tawny-looking brown owl waiting for the professor to open the window.

"Mr. Evans-Potter, can you get that for me please," the aloof and fun, but sometimes lazy, professor asks.

Harry sighed and got up, having a dreading feeling what the owl signified. He grabs it and the owl flew off with a rather rude prek sound.

Now let's see what it says... Dear Harry... Invited to Hogwarts... Only real relative is Petunia Evans-Dursley... Been enrolled to Hogwarts since a baby... Be best for parents wishes to attend the best school in the world... he snorted at that; best school in the world? Bullshit.

"Professor Stein, may I see the Principle? I just got another annoying invite from Hogwarts; the letter is written with a too personal script than professional, and says it's better for me to go to the best school in the world."

"Best school in the world? Bullshit," the gray-haired man said, as the class chuckled, "I'll alert Principle Maxwell."

Harry gathered his book bag, has his planner written out for him so he wouldn't get in trouble with school security, and leaves as the man resumes his lecture with the rest of the class, once making a quick call to the Principle.

=0=0=

Principle Sarah Maxwell was from a family that most European magicals would consider mixed blood. She was a half-blood witch, with a pureblood mother and a muggleborn father. Unlike the few purebloods who believed in the prejudicial views of their European cousins, she believed in all human rights, and didn't care about pure of blood equals power. So, she was fairly surprised when Professor Stein had made a quick call to her office, alerting her that one of her prized students in the school, Harry Evans-Potter, had just been sent an invite from the magical school Hogwarts.

"Come in," she says, upon hearing the knock on her door.

Harry enters the room, and quietly closes the door.

"Hello Mrs. Maxwell," he greeted the blonde-haired witch.

"Good morning, Harry. I heard from Stein that Hogwarts is attempting to steal you away."

Harry handed her the letter that was written to him. After a minute, she scoffed. She certainly didn't believe that Hogwarts was the best in the world; not according to last year's average measures from the Wizarding Education Percentage. It used to be the best in Europe, however, but in the past 40 years it began to slowly fall in education.

"This is certainly rude of them to insinuate Hogwarts is better than the rest of us," she says, "So, what do you want to do?"

"I'm certainly not leaving the U.S.," he answers, "I rather receive the best education I can than go to a third-rate school in Scotland. And I'm also not going with some teacher from that school wanting to escort me to Europe."

The comm. on the phone beeps.

_"Principle Maxwell, your next appointment is here."_

"Appointment? I have none scheduled for today," she replied back, but got no response.

She didn't like this. Harry knew that his principle before she took a teaching job was she once been a former WIS Witch before she quit and pursued a career dedicated to children's education.

She pulled out her wand, as did Harry when the door opened, and one Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, and Albus Dumbledore found themselves at wand point, and gun point (Sarah drew out her magnum from under her desk whilst tripping the silent alarm to call for Aurors). A flick of his wand and he silently disarmed the two Hogwarts Professors and Headmaster, shocking Dumbledore as Harry caught all three wands with a wordless Accio spell.

"I hope you are not thinking of kidnapping me from the country... that would entice Magical War," Harry informs the three adults, before handing the wands to his Principle, who pockets them.

And before Dumbledore could say anything, Wizard Agents from the U.S. Department of Magic's Auror Division had stormed the school. One humiliating ICW meeting later, the British Ministry of Magic was now under international investigation for untold years of blatant abuse of protocol for the better of wizard kind, a violation and abuse of power, and years of corruption. Harry still continued to live with his family and continued his years of school at Sunnyvale. Voldemort came back to life a year later, and was effectively gunned down when he invaded America.

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><p><strong>There's something about Harry Potter fanfiction when Harry doesn't go to a school that's in Europe, but instead goes elsewhere. Of course, I only enjoy the few stories that are well-written, like the stories by <strong>Silverfawkes' Sirius' Savior**.**

**That was a good fic. If you haven't read it, do so now. It is very enjoyable!  
><strong>

**Anyway... hope ya enjoyed it...** o3o


	11. NCIS 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer ****& ****Author****'****s**** Note:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

Also, go enjoy some Furi Kuri! XD

And one more thing: this takes place between Episodes 5 and 6 of NCIS Season Two.

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><p>BANG!<p>

A man stands over another, as the guy on the ground had half his brains and blood splattered like a ripe fruit smashed by a hammer. The man with the high-powered weapon then hurries to the abandoned car, where he begins to take out all sorts of drugs and loads into another car on the dirt road. After he's finished his task, he cleans up his evidence of being there, before managing to push the other vehicle right into the nearby river. In his hurry to leave the scene, he forgot something... a single shell casing, and the corpse of the victim left in the tall grass and mud.

(Insert NCIS Opening Theme here)

**A/N:** If this was to be like a secret cut episode, the actors who portrayed their Harry Potter counterparts included in the NCIS introductory character roll is Daniel Radcliffe and Gary Oldman.

It's another beautiful morning. Few clouds, bright sunlight, and Harry Regulus James was the first, aside his boss Leroy Jethro Gibbs, to be the first to arrive to work at NCIS.

"I need to get a car soon. Hope Sirius buys me one," Harry commented, drinking his own coffee. Unlike Gibbs who drinks his as is, Harry enjoyed the sweet taste of french vanilla with a hint of cocoa.

"Ah, don't worry yourself," the man responds, "you passed your test, you finally got your license, and Sirius I bet is going to find you something he will say is a babe magnet, or something."

Harry grins, as the elevator door opens, and the voices of Anthony DiNozzo, Caitlin "Kate" Todd, and Timothy McGee, fill the air.

"Well... and a good morning to you three," Harry bids, finishing his second egg sausage bacon cheese biscuit sandwich from McDonalds, crams the last hash browns to his mouth, chew, swallow, and throws the bag of garbage into his trash bin.

"I smell McDonalds," Tony says.

"Gibbs and I went on a coffee run before we came to work, and he ordered me breakfast. I still say you should have ordered something for yourself, boss."

Gibbs responds in a negative. "Nah. I'm fine. If I get hungry, I'll steal a doughnut from the break room," he tells the group's youngest field agent.

"So, how was your weekend, Harry?" Kate asks politely, as she finished her Nutrigrain bar.

"The usual: watching anime, listening to music, being prepared in case the Director ever needed us to report for any form of emergency. Oh, and beating up some guy who couldn't take my sister's answers of no. Guy learned his lesson when he made the wrong move of putting hands on her. And I doubt Sam will be bothered by the creep no more."

"That's good. Hope Samantha's okay."

"She's fine, Kate. Thanks."

"Well, I had fun over the weekend," Tony spoke up.

"Let me guess Tony. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and legs up to her throat?"

"Ha-ha, Kate," Tony replies with a tone of false hilarity, but a devious grin on his face, "as a matter of fact, I had met this wonderful woman on the internet. It may get serious. Harry knows the details as I told him in an e-mail."

Kate turns to look at Harry from across Gibbs.

"Yeah... real detailed. I think he may have forgotten in his quest of bragging, I was sixteen years old. Then again my vocabulary was already grown to including such words not suitable for younger audiences..."

Kate turns to look at Tony, who shrugs.

"He swears sometimes," he said.

"Yeah... and I remember the first time Harry swore," Gibbs interrupted, "he was nine years old and I gave a quick whack to the head, and told him to drop and give me twenty."

Harry chuckled, remembering that day.

"And if I recall, you told Sirius to give one hundred for teaching me that word indirectly."

The desk phone on Gibbs' desk rings, prompting the silver-haired man to answer. Eventually, he hangs up, and gets up.

"We got a dead marine found by a group of hikers this morning. Countryside. Pack up, team."

"I'll drive," Harry said, grabbing his gear from his desk. Gibbs nods as he walks out, sipping his usual cup of coffee. Another day at work, and another murder investigation to investigate...

"Wait, you're driving?"

Harry smirked, his emerald eyes glinting with amusement. "Well, DiNozzo, I already have the keys, and yes I do have a license. Had one for two days and Sirius is buying me a car as a gift for getting them."

Tony blinks, before he searches his pockets and then his desk, only to find the keys to the van is missing. Kate laughed at the hilarity of the scene. McGee finished gathering his gear.

"C'mon, or I'm leaving you behind," Harry calls as the elevator door dings, and swings open.

The other three rushed over with their field gear.

Meanwhile, Gibbs was with the Director, having watched the scene.

"Amazing it's only been a year since he joined. You believe he'll continue to work well, Jethro?"

"He knows his routine. If it wasn't for the fact I have seen his profile and him being a child prodigy, I'd have turned him away. But..."

"Not many still accept the fact that in a federal sense, we have THE youngest agent in all of NCIS, the FBI, CIA..."

Gibbs nods.

"I didn't turn him away because I saved his life when he was little... I saw great potential in him, and I helped make that grow," Gibbs said, referencing an old case he got personally attached to in the past. The NCIS Director knew what Gibbs was talking about.

=0=0=

The van pulls up to the crime scene just as Gibbs did in his own car, followed shortly by Ducky. The police at the site have the murder scene roped off, while other rescue personnel were working with a crew by the nearby river.

"Still think I can't drive?"

"You nearly hit a raccoon," Kate told Harry as they gathered their stuff out the back.

"So... only means road kill BBQ..."

"Are you serious, kid?" Tony asks.

"No, Sirius is the name of my godfather. I'm Harry."

McGee then says, "We know."

"Oh... forgot, you're the probie. It's an old joke slash pun my godfather created. When someone said serious, he's said that he's Sirius... his name."

"Sirius... Sirius Black, the former convict?" McGee spoke up.

"Exonerated of his crimes and personally rescued by Queen Elizabeth after it was discovered he was framed for crimes by corrupt British government officials all because he was for some strange unexplained reason a threat against humanity," Harry pointed out, slamming the doors shut, "besides, you were with the Secret Service Kate, so I know you must have seen those so-called charges he was framed with."

Kate sighed. Of course, having met Sirius when it was made known he was wrongfully imprisoned for several years, she could not argue that what was said on the burned papers isn't who he was today.

"C'mon, we got a crime scene to sketch, bag, and tag."

And as they walk...

"FYI, my godfather is a great man if you look past the whole wrongfully imprisoned convict who escaped prison in 1992 and was on the run before being saved by Liz in 1997."

"Liz?"

"Elizabeth. And before you ask, she doesn't mind so long as I don't say in it public."

"... You know the Queen of England?" Tony asks.

"Yeah. I'm not the only one with connects in high places," Harry tells the three with a grin. They just stare at Harry.

"You learn something new every day," Kate said.

"Yeah like his love for those Japanese porn books written by some guy named Jiraiya," Tony replies.

"They're not porn books, they're heavy romance novels!" Harry yells.

McGee looks at Tony and Kate for answers.

"Porn," Tony says with a smirk.

Harry rolls his eyes.

"I'd fear for the world the day you and my godfather team-up in the name of pranks and puns. I don't think Crimes Against Humanity would cover."

"It won't cover not doing your job," Gibbs interrupts, "and your novels DO sound like porn, Harry."

Harry grunts but said nothing, taking snapshots of the crime scene, along with Kate and Tony doing their own jobs.

"T.O.D., Duck?"

"Well Jethro, according to the probe, our Staff Sergeant here died in the span of 12 hours ago. With how unusually cold it was last night, he didn't bleed as fast as normally. Single gunshot to the back of the skull... execution style... As you can see, he was shot at point-blank range, the muzzle practically pressed against him before our killer pulled the trigger."

"And at this close-range... very bloody; with this damage, and how strewn the blood pattern is from the point of impact, a nine point mil would never do this type of damage," Harry pointed out.

"Yes, that is true, Harry. By assessment alone, something bigger than a nine mil was the weapon of choice."

Harry continued to snap more photos, while Kate located a bullet shell.

"Found this here... killer must have dropped it."

"Or forgot to pick it up while in the process of putting our dead sergeant's car in the drink," Harry said.

The year is 2005, and in the life is sixteen year old Harry Regulus James, NCIS Special Agent (and the youngest accepted in known history), it was just another day on the job. Harry snapped one last photo of the shell casing before Kate bagged it up, when his cell phone rang. With a grunt, he lowers the camera and it rests on his chest off the neck strap, as he takes his phone and flips it open.

"Hello, this is Agent James."

_"Harry! __I __need__ to __talk __to __you __about __your __godfather!"_ came a familiar voice to Gibbs' ears.

Harry had a musing smile on his face, before putting his cell phone on speaker setting. "Agent Fornell... what's wrong?"

_"Sirius got one of my female agents pregnant!"_

Tony stifled a laugh, while Kate just stares at Harry with a surprised look. McGee just stares with Ducky, Gibbs, and Ducky's new ME Assistant, Jimmy Palmer.

"Wait... he's actually got a girlfriend? Huh, and I thought he was pulling my leg... believed he got a hicky from a vacuum cleaner hose."

_"I'm sure you're busy at the moment so I'll meet you later."_

And Fornell abruptly hangs up.

"I feel like I'm much older than I should be," Harry comments, snapping his phone shut and pocketing it.

"Welcome to adulthood, Harry," Gibbs tells his agent.

As the new ME Assistant, Jimmy Palmer, was getting the gurney for the body, Gibbs and Harry went to check out the car that was pulled out of the river.

=0=0=

"It's amazing what one can do with computers nowadays," Harry said, as he typed away on the computer.

The morning waned into the lunch hours, and the car down in the garage being looked over for evidence by another team, and Abby was in her lab while Gibbs was off getting more coffee and checking what's going on thus far with the murder case.

"Whatcha doing?" Tony questions as he pops over towards Harry's desk.

"Oh, met this person online a week ago. Username was HotJugs24. She said she was a girl two years older than me, but when I inquired more information, she was a bit distracting. So I said nothing but finally... I found out some information..."

"You hacked?"

"I don't call it hacking... I call it investigating. Just like I did with the case at hand, boss," Harry said upon spying Gibbs walking into their bullpen. Tony immediately hops off Harry's desk.

"With the case boss... Staff Sergeant Steven Stephan was apparently involved with an undercover operation because of some drug ring that was affecting some Navy personnel. Our killer must have discovered Steven's alias, Ronald Jameson, was fake, and thus killed him. Whoever killed him didn't screw around when Steven's cover was blown. They wanted him dead faster than Sirius's colon when he eats too much Polish food."

"Too much information on the last part, Harry," Gibbs remarked.

"So our killer tried to get rid of evidence, but not before taking the illegal drugs that was in the trunk. Because it was pushed into the water, most forensics evidence would be washed away, however Abby was able to pull up some partial fingerprints and is working to find out what the residue discovered in the ruined car is. She is still searching the database for a match."

"I have pulled up some lists of calls Steven made before his death, and out of all of the number of calls made, only seven total match up within the span of four months," Kate speaks up, seeing Harry was finished with his part, "This number is tracked to New York City."

"From there, I contacted some old friends in Baltimore who have experience in New York. Found out that Steven, or rather his alias was wanted on suspicions of an unrelated murder of a drug ring that was busted a month ago in Brooklyn. But my old friend said that the so-called warrant raised a red flag, but further investigations red-taped for some reason."

"With the number, I am searching for the owner of the number. But, thus far, I am getting no definite matches, but I am still working," McGee finished.

Gibbs' phone rang, before he answers it. "Gibbs... okay, I'm heading down, Abby." He hangs up. "Abby finally found something with the fingerprints." Off he walks, down to Abby's lab.

The elevator dings, and Harry's lips curled to a warm smile as his godfather walks out carrying an extra large pizza. The smell was attracting Tony already.

"Siri, what are you doing here, and how did you get past security?"

"I was with Dr. Mallard," he thumbs towards the good doctor.

"Please, Sirius, call me Ducky. All of my friends do," Ducky spoke up.

"I thought you'd be hungry since you were busy with a case, and bought this pizza. All the meats there are on a pizza: bacon, Canadian, sausage, Italian, turkey and pork pepperoni, ham, ground beef, and loaded with five difference cheeses."

"Oh my that sounds so good right now," Tony said.

"I was going to get security pass to come up here to see you, when I bumped into Ducky. Ducky got me through quicker..."

Harry cleared his desk allowing the box to be set, as he opened one of his desk shelves and pulled out Styrofoam plates and a bunch of napkins.

"You are awesome Sirius," Tony said, grabbing a plate and two slices.

Kate looked at the lunch she has with her or the day consisting of an apple, a cup of pudding, and some carrot sticks, towards the pizza. "What the hell. I can walk more on the weekend." She sets her bag aside to get behind McGee.

"Harry, where is Gibbs right now?"

"In Abby's lab. She found something that could help with the case."

"Good, I can catch up with him there. I have something to share with him regarding our Staff Sergeant."

Ducky walks towards the elevator in the back, just as the elevator by the front opened. This time, Tobias Fornell exits flanked by his team... Tony backed off, just as Fornell walked up next to Sirius.

"Sirius, we need to talk."

"Oh, you're that FBI guy... uh... Fornell, was it?"

"Yes. And you knocked up one of my agents."

Sirius blinked. "I did? Wait, Cassandra's pregnant?" Sirius looked between Harry, to Fornell.

"I was surprised when Fornell told me..." Harry slowly responded.

"Wow..."

"Wow? Is that all you can say? Wow?"

"What? What else can I say? Whoops? Besides we took precaution," the man told the FBI agent. Fornell simply glared.

"Obviously it didn't help," he quipped.

"At least he didn't sleep with your wife."

Fornell took the moment to gaze at Harry, remembering that the teenager was just that, a teenager... the youngest NCIS agent he's ever met. "Funny, James." Gazing back at Sirius, "now, it's your fault that Cassandra is now on maternity leave leaving me one agent short. And as much as I would like to shoot you in the balls, I'm here to see Gibbs."

"Hey, I never knew and I haven't heard from her in the past four weeks, and she wouldn't return my calls. I'll go see her when I leave the building I swear."

"... You better," Fornell says with finality.

Harry had his hand cover his face in the classic face palm, and Tony was sitting in his seat, snickering as quietly as he could.

"Sirius... I feel as if I'm the adult and you're the rowdy teenager with uncontrollable hormones," Harry told his loving godfather and the second father figure in his life next to Jethro Gibbs, "sometimes I believe you're worse than DiNozzo when it comes to women and sex."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Tony said with a tone of mock hurt.

"Maybe we should have Abby check if they're long lost brothers separated at birth?" Kate chipped in with a smirk on her face.

"If they were Kate, I'd probably be a pseudo copy of Tony today," Harry evaluated immediately.

And Kate nodded, agreeing with the teen's logic. "Hm... yeah you're right about that."

"Oh you guys are so cruel," Tony responded with a childish sticking out of his tongue, before taking a bite of his pizza slice. McGee was just sitting there, listening and snickering, whilst working on his part in the case and enjoying lunch.

"Catch Harry."

Harry looked, but expertly caught car keys.

"The other reason I'm here is to give you your new car I bought you. Hope you liked it. I also have it custom-painted to your liking. I had the car lot I bought it at have it driven here. The spare key for the car they told me is placed in the glove box along with the papers detailing your ownership of it."

"Holy... sweet, Sirius! Thanks!" Harry exclaimed.

Sirius grins, as Harry decides to check out his new car.

"So that explains the pizza," said Tony, "yeah, I remember my first car. She was so beautiful."

"Oh? What was she?" Sirius inquires.

At her desk, Kate rolls her eyes.

Gibbs returns.

"Gibbs," Fornell greets, "we need to talk."

"Okay. Our usual office, then."

He steals a slice of pizza, as did Fornell, and the two men head to the elevator.

=0=0=

Harry shouldered a high school backpack, keeping his green cap firmly in place.

"This is going to go bad... I just know it," he whispers to a hidden mic under his polo's collar.

_"Just __stick __with __the __plan, __and __we __can __nail __this __suspect,"_ Tony affirms the teenager.

Harry grunts, but resumes his walk once the light turned green and the walk signal flashed. It was the next day, and aside from a couple of dead leads, Harry miraculously found a lead of a man downtown who was doing drug deals, but some of the drugs were towards minors Harry's age. And, being the only agent in the team who's literally sixteen years old was now out on undercover.

_"Hope he'll be alright..."_

"He'll be fine, Kate," Gibbs assures the woman, "Harry knows how to fight. I taught him. He also knows Taekwondo, Jujutsu, and learned Muay Thai alongside a man by the name Phillip Brooks."

On the street:

"What belts does he have?"

_"Black poom. He's sixteen and until he reaches a certain age, he'll be under poom before graduating to dan."_

"_Poom_? _Dan_?"

"Japanese, Tony," Kate explains, having some knowledge of the martial art sport, "He's a junior black belt because he's sixteen currently and won't reach senior class ranks until he reaches their required age of adulthood."

"Oh," Tony says, understanding.

_"And Harry is an adept at Jujutsu, since it's a form of grappling arts. It helps well along with my lessons of fighting in the Marine Corp."_

_"Guys,__ I__ see __the __target,"_ Harry interrupts.

Gibbs and McGee in a tech-control van continue to monitor, while also on the streets with disguises of their own, Kate and Tony were following Harry at a distance.

"What do you see, Harry?"

"Target is dark skinned, dyed bleach blond hair in long dread and cornrows. He has what looks like gang art tattoo barely seen on his neck, and I bet travels down the body under the shirt. White tank, baggy jeans a rugged stone wash blue, black sneakers, and wearing green handkerchiefs around the neck... He looks like a typical gangster I'd find on my _Grand __Theft __Auto: __San __Andreas_ game."

"Oh, I enjoy that game," Tony says.

"Focus on the task. Harry, be careful," Gibbs informs from the van's surveillance.

Harry smiles, and confirms a, "roger that," before looking both ways, then crosses the street. And going into role, he walks up to the gangster wannabe...

"I have a feeling Harry is going to be Kick-Ass in a minute," Tony tells Kate.

=0=0=

The door opens, two hours later. Tony, Kate, Gibbs, and McGee turn to see Abby walk into the recording room next to the interrogation room. Also in the room was Agent Tobias Fornell.

"I heard Harry got hurt. Is he okay?"

"He's okay Abby," Kate tells the forensic scientist, "he can take hits well."

Abby looks through the window, and saw that the perp was sporting a black eye and several bruises from where Harry's strikes connected when he fought the man off when he was busted selling drugs.

"Oh... I know Harry can take care of himself."

"Then why worry?" McGee questioned.

"He's like a cute little brother," Abby tells McGee with a wide grin, "I can't help but worry sometimes. So, how did Harry subdue this guy?"

"Muay Thai. He used precise strikes against the man when he tried to pull a gun on him," Tony replies, "first kick knocked the gun clear away, and he was moving fast, like some action movie hero. If he didn't have a job here, he could do well in movies. Maybe a ninja movie or something."

"How come you're not in there, Gibbs?" Abby asks.

"Harry wanted to interrogate the man, so I allowed it."

In the room, the window was in fact a one-way mirror, and sound-proof so all the injured man can hear is the deafening silence. He looks to the door as it opens, and in walks the same boy that literally kicked his ass.

"Sit down," Harry orders the man when said man jumped.

"Why should I? You're just a punk-ass brat!"

"Maybe my kick to your temple wasn't hard enough..." His eyes hardened, as the door is shut, "sit down."

The man did, and crosses his arms as Harry sits across from him, and sets a folder down, followed by the laptop he carried with him.

"I ain't talkin' without a lawyer."

Harry gave no confirmation to his threat; simply the tak-tak-tak of his fingers flying across the keyboard begins to play itself in the room.

"You hear me? I want a lawyer you taint-licking pig-fucker!"

Behind the mirror, McGee's eyebrows rise at the language, Kate's mouth drop in shock and Tony shakes his head at the obtuse use of language. Gibbs' own eyebrows furrowed in thought, his unseen glare boring a hole into the perpetrator's head...

"Oh I heard," Harry replied, not looking up from the monitor of his laptop, "but I doubt I can find a lawyer who'd want to defend a suspected child killer and illicit drug distributor towards minors, unless Lionel Hutz existed outside _The __Simpsons_."

Unheard by the teen or the perp, Tony snickered at the TV reference behind the one-way mirror.

"You, on the other hand, WILL be charged in accessory to the murder of Staff Sergeant Steven Stephan, Alex Crosio."

"How'd you know my name?" the man now known as Alex shouts, hands slamming the table.

Now, Harry looks up, and his green eyes were alight with an intelligent glare, the monitor barely hiding the smile that crosses his lips. "Oh, I didn't," he smoothly lies, "you just confirmed it."

"Oh, that was nice," Abby comments in a whisper, as Harry once again told the man to sit. The perp slowly did, as those rather cold green eyes bore him down.

"And I know your history... right here... you were quick-thinking to dunk the car of the man you murdered in the river; the water damage would destroy any kind of evidence you couldn't clean up, while the man you killed with a 30-30 high-powered rifle has half his brain matter strewn."

"I didn't kill anyone," Alex defends in an attempt to make himself innocent. Harry saw through his ploy. They had the evidence to lock him up anyway.

"Oh, but you did. But had you did a better job in hiding the body, then the water damage to the car would have been more severe, and would have put you in the clear of murder... but, like all criminals, you screwed up."

He opens the folder and pulls out several autopsy photos of the dead Marine and sets them in a row in front of the man, and resumes typing away on his laptop. In fact, seen by Kate, she can see he had Microsoft Office Word 2003 open.

"We managed to pull up partial fingerprints, and it led to you. And the search we did on your apartment led us to twelve thousand dollars in bills, not even unwrapped yet, and the weapon that caused our Marine's death. This man you killed, you knew him by the name Ronald Jameson. He was undercover because of some suspicions in rank that raised eyebrows in the military. Before his time in the Marines he worked with the DEA."

Harry types more on the laptop.

"The substance that we managed to find in the trunk of the car showed chemical compounds akin to black tar heroin. I believe its street name is Rock Licorice."

Gazing briefly at the guy, the man stayed silent.

"Either way... with all the evidence we have, you're not sleeping in a cozy warm bed anytime soon for like... thirty years or more... depends on how hard the book smacks you in the face for your charges."

"And what makes you think I'll be locked up?"

"We have incriminating evidence. You were caught with drugs in your procession, you have the murder weapon, we have your prints..."

Harry closes his laptop.

"The only reason you are here is because... I desire some names, such as who you are working for..."

"... Cut me a deal and I'll tell you everything you want."

Harry stares.

"Sorry, but that's not my job to make deals. Even if I did make one, your crimes will still keep you locked away for a long time."

He gathers his things and stands up.

"Wait..."

Harry gazes at the man, only to get spat in the face. Harry does nothing nor does he rise to the man's obvious bait as he calmly walks out and closes the door, with more force than necessary.

Another door opens and Harry wordlessly accepts the towelette given to him by his boss, to clean his face up.

"I so want to bash his teeth down his throat..."

"Now what, Harry?" Gibbs questions his agent.

Harry stares at Gibbs, before a small smile forms.

"I have an idea... but Fornell needs to lend me two of his agents..."

Eyebrow raised, Gibbs reluctantly nod, and allows Harry to pull of whatever tactic Harry thought up. Back in the room, the man was about ready to stand up when the door opens, and Harry walked back inside, but this time, he was flanked by two older men.

"Regardless... my time with you is done. These men are here to place you under arrest for charges of murder, possession of controlled substances with the intent to sell, and assault on a minor with a side of attempted murder."

"Wait, what? What about my lawyer?" the man yells, as he was put in cuffs.

"You won't need one in prison," Harry said, "have a great life in orange robes."

"Okay! Okay!" The killer of Steven Stephan shouts, just as Harry stopped in mid-threshold of leaving the interrogation room, "You want a name fine! I never met him, but he's claimed he has ties with some Italian mafia. He goes by the name of Ricardo Alejandra, and the man once was with the Mexican Cartel. That's all I know! I swear!"

Harry smirked, as the man then demanded a bargain from Harry because he gave information. His response: "If you don't struggle, you can get a bunk with Big Bubba much faster. Enjoy prison."

The man struggled as he tried to attack Harry, but the men were strong in holding him down as they place the cuffs on him. He was placed under arrest, and after Abby checked to see he was okay (and he told the girl he was fine) Harry was back in the office and heading towards his desk, only to blink when on his desk was an envelope. It had no return address, no postage of any kind, not even the standard United States postal mark. All it had was a coat of arms of a lion, badger, raven, and snake, and the addressed was registered with only a name: Harry J. Potter. It was his old name before he had legally changed it.

"Damn," he whispers to himself. He looked around. He didn't see his teammates or his boss, so he sits down and quickly opens it.

_**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**_

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore  
>(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,<br>Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall  
>Deputy Headmistress<em>

_P.S._

_Your letter is due late, because your initial acceptance letter could not locate you. Regarding your reply of this acceptance letter, we will determine special classes so that you will be able to join your peers officially in Sixth Year._

Harry folds the letter, not bothering to check their "list of supplies". He knew the date was July 17. He had time to "make a reply", but he didn't want to. Quickly folding the letters and stashing the envelope into his laptop bag, he picks up the phone and dials a number.

"C'mon Sirius... pick up..."

After three more rings, he hears a click, and is relieved in hearing his godfather's voice.

_"Harry! What's up, up?"_

"The sleeping dragon awakens from being tickled," Harry immediately replies.

On the other end, Sirius's fun smile is wiped off.

"What? You mean one finally found you?"

_"Yeah Padfoot and I bet they now know where I am because I had opened it..."_

Sirius swore softly, before grabbing his lunch he paid at the local Subway and quickly ushered out of the restaurant and was walking to his car parked out front.

"Harry, listen: even though most federal offices and the government now know of the Wizarding World and work alongside the United States Department of Magic, I bet England and the Ministry of Magic are still as stagnant and ignorant of the non-magical world as they were in the late 20th century; hell they don't understand anything in the 21st century. Tell Gibbs what's going on. I'll contact Magical Secretary President Paulina Mishka and tell her that our past may attempt to interfere. You better be careful, Harry, okay?"

_"Yeah, I always am."_

Sirius hangs up his cell phone, starts the car and drives straight home. Back at the office, Harry hangs up his phone just as the others returned to their desk. He gets up, and grabs Gibbs by the arm.

"Boss, I need to talk to you. It's very urgent."

Gibbs stares at his youngest agent, before nodding, and leads Harry towards the back elevator. McGee, Kate, and DiNozzo watch as Gibbs led Harry away.

"I wonder what that was about..."

"Harry looked troubled," McGee pointed out.

Tony gets up from his chair just as Fornell comes in.

"Where's Gibbs?"

"With Harry," Kate informs Fornell, "Harry looked troubled with something... had to speak with him privately."

"And I intend to find out," Tony said, as he goes to Harry's desk and rummages his shelves.

"Tony, stop that!" Kate urged the man.

But Tony didn't listen, and decided to look inside the teenager's laptop. "Aha..." He pulls out an aged envelope and letter made out of parchment.

"What is this...?"

Kate takes the envelope.

"This has no postage, no mark, and no return address except a strange coat of arms... without any form of postage this shouldn't even be delivered..."

"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" Tony questioned the letter's words.

Meanwhile, with the elevator turned off, Harry was currently telling Gibbs what was going on. Soon, the elevator turns on and rises.

"Don't worry... Sirius is probably contacting your government's president."

The elevator dings and swipes open.

"You just need to make sure the others know not to snoop around your desk."

Harry walks over to the edge, and indeed, he sees Tony sitting at his desk.

"... Are you psychic?" he speaks back to Gibbs, who just smiles as he goes to see the Director.

In a magical castle hidden from the non-magical, a certain old wizard with a long beard, half-moon glasses, and wearing colorful robes smiles softly. The Potters' missing son was finally discovered. Dumbledore did not like the idea of Harry being left with the Dursley family, but with Voldemort lurking in the shadows and Henry being the only one who was capable of defeating the Dark Lord permanently, it was best for young Harry to never experience the horrors of the dark side. As a Squib, he would have grown up jealous because his three other siblings could do things he would never do.

When Harry turned eleven, they were all stunned to discover Hogwarts herself indeed held a letter for the child, which meant he was not a Squib as the Mediwizards and Mediwitches originally diagnosed of the child when he was born. But... any attempt of bringing him to the family was all for naught: The Dursleys were gone. Lily's sister was murdered by a muggle mafia gang, her son was missing, and Vernon was in prison for the attempted murder of James and Lily's fourth son.

"Now, to find him..."

Tracing the letter, he was surprised to find that the trace he left on it, pinpointed him on the muggle's Earth Globe on the east coast of the colonies across the pond.

"America... is that where you are, young Harry?"

He needed to work, and find a more accurate location before doing anything else.

=0=0=

It was three days later, when finally the case had been solved. Of course, while they had to once again work with the FBI and Fornell's team, they busted a drug ring. Several former Marine officers, some lowly underhand thugs, and one Ricardo Alejandra were arrested for soliciting illegal drugs such as opium, heroin, black tar, and several pounds of marijuana. Their charges were murder of Staff Sergeant Steven Stephan, drug trafficking of controlled substances, and the FBI discovered a small cache of illegal firearms with the intent to sell on the Black Market. Yes, just another case in the federal agency known as NCIS. So, this is the part where with the remote, Harry turns the TV off as the FBI took credit once again with only a minor credit given to NCIS for participating in a joint operation to uncovering a crime ring within Washington, DC.

"Well... the case was certainly interesting if I say so myself, ignoring working with Fornell and his rat team," Harry said, working on filing his end of the report.

"I can't believe that tub of lard we arrested was your cousin," Tony told Harry.

"He had one painful right hook," McGee said, knowing how painful that strike was before Gibbs physically had to restrain him while Fornell helped cuff the overweight British young man.

"Didn't think he'd be here but... then again, he takes after that bastard Vernon..."

"Vernon Dursley... he's the guy who nearly killed you?"

"Yeah. He died in jail... like father, like son... hope he enjoys American prison. Knowing how violent Vernon was when I was very little, his son's better up locked in prison. Less battered and abused women and children that way."

"Right... I forgot, you had a little bit of history in the past..." Tony mutters. He himself had seen a bit of Harry's past.

Tony then walks back to Harry's desk. He saw the pained look on Harry's face, and thought to change subject.

"So, about this Hot Jugs chick, she sounds like a total babe. Didn't know you like older woman," Tony says with a sly grin. Harry smiled back, glad Tony changed the subject; his past was still a sore subject or him, "so, is she hot? Sexy beautiful brunette? Or a blond bombshell with a nice set?"

"Hot Jugs?" Gibbs questioned, looking at Harry for answers.

"See for yourself," He says with pure sarcasm oozing from his tone, turning his monitor around. What Harry found was the real world identity of HotJugs24; a large bald guy with numerous tattoos wearing a simple white tank top. He did not look appealing whatsoever, especially since he had noticeable man boobs.

Tony's smile melted away into that of objected horror and repulsion, as he backs off with a near gag. Kate got up to take a look, and then broke out into a laugh. McGee had a smirk of his own, now that he saw what was funny about it. And Gibbs' curiosity got the better of him and he went to see what had Tony backing up that way. His eyebrows were raised.

"Huh... she's a real keeper," Gibbs said.

"I wonder if he wears a sports bra," Kate questions with another laugh.

"And that's why you always never trust everything you see on the internet. For all you know, the girls you're meeting online could be unattractive guys who hide behind a fictional persona who create lies in attempts to score with a girl."

"Duly noted, Harry," Tony says, as he sits back down at his desk.

"You know, you told me you were lately speaking with this girl you met online." Harry turns his monitor back around and types away, "so, I did research on your so-called girl with the nice legs and ass."

"Oh, let me guess... he's a guy as well?" Kate asks.

Harry finishes typing, and turns the monitor around, showing a black boy with cornrow hair in short braided dreadlocks from the back like mini rattails, with dark eyes and wearing graphically-designed shirts and pants.

"Worse... he's only twelve years old from Davenport, Iowa."

Tony stared, mouth agape, while Kate had another laugh.

"And the photo you showed me in that email a week ago... located the source at a PayPal porn site... you've been duped."

Tony visibly shivered. "Oh my god..."

Kate giggles. McGee was chuckling himself. Harry had a wide smile on his face. And Gibbs back at his desk now merely shakes his head, closing the folder on yet another solved case. Due to the hilarity that Tony discovered his so-called hot girl was a kid from another state pretending to be said hot chick, they didn't noticed until Dumbledore clears his throat, walking up to the muggles he saw in the office desks. At the U.S. Dept. of Magic, USML (United States Magical Law) Chief Officer Amanda Watson was gathering a squad of Aurors because a cross-country Apparition was discovered and whoever apparated into U.S. soil did not go through Magical Customs.

"Ahem, excuse me but I need to speak with whoever's in charge of this office. You have a Mr. Potter in your custody."

Some heads turned to look at the old man who was in their floor.

"And... who are you, sir?"

"Excuse me, young man. My name is Albus Dumbledore. I come from a prestigious boarding school in Europe, and I learned you have a Mr. Potter in your custody. I know he is not a criminal and couldn't have done anything wrong."

Eyes of his teammates turn to him, and Harry gets up off his chair. The woman with the salt and pepper hair brings a hand to her mouth with a soft almost unheard gasp, and the man with the greasy-looking hair stares at him with a look of utter contempt.

"I legally changed my name to James when I was adopted by the James Family when I was little, when my boss here saved me from being murdered by my former uncle who's currently in a prison graveyard back in Europe today. I'm Special Agent Harry Regulus James of NCIS, the youngest field agent in NCIS history."

Harry was surprised they would come into the building this way. He wondered how fast Amanda was going to respond to the foreign Apparition the US. Dept. of Magic no doubt detected.

"Mr. Potter-"

"James. My name is Harry James. It's been that since I was adopted by a family who wanted me. So what would you want with me, sir?"

Harry asked, but he knew what Dumbledore wanted. Now, how to surprise them...?

"If I may ask, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be working like an adult. You should still be in school, having a childhood," the woman said, not believing the sight that James and Lily's wayward son could be looking like such an adult; the muggles formal clothes such as slacks, buttoned shirt, tie, everything that says he was a full grown adult in a child's body.

"Ha!" Tony couldn't help but bark aloud.

"I don't see what's so funny, having a child work in a grown-up world, young man," Minerva said to the man who was laughing about what she said.

"Child? My childhood died when Vernon Dursley attempted to murder me. If it wasn't for my boss here, Jethro Gibbs, I would be in a casket, a body of bones in a crisp suit."

He brushes his hair back, fingers running through his messy locks of raven black.

"I believe you never heard of a child prodigy... that's what I am. I blazed through my years in school fast and graduated by the time I was eleven or twelve, and when I turned fifteen, I passed through a brilliant university, earned several degrees and pursued a career in criminal law enforcement. A year later, I joined NCIS with recommendations from Gibbs. Been here for nearly a year now... I'm content with my life. I even made sure I had my magical education while going through my school years, and done my magic education as required by the United States Department of Magic and the accepted standards of the Wizarding Education Percentage."

His blatant (to the British) exposure of the world of magic shocked them.

"So, I formally must decline your invitation to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I have already passed my magical schooling while keeping role with my non-magical life."

"Young man, you just broke the Statue of Secrecy in front of muggles!" Dumbledore exclaimed.

"Actually, I didn't. You see, Magical Europe are the only ones left in the world that still refuses to explore the rest of the planet, and accept that the non-magicals are advancing into the future while you people still stubbornly stick to your beliefs, and continue to remain stagnant when it comes to the non-magical world."

"You just told the muggles we existed, you idiot boy," the greasy-haired man said, taking out his wand. But then every agent armed pulled their guns out and take aim at the two wizards and one witch. In each hand Harry held a firearm, and his black wand.

"I didn't break any rules, right Amanda?"

"That's correct Agent James," said a female voice from the top floor balcony.

A woman with long curly blonde hair stood next to the NCIS Director as several wizards and witches quickly raced the stairs, while from the stairwell and the elevator, more armed security came in, aiming their weapons at the three stunned British magicals.

"Agent James broke no rules because all known federal agencies such as NCIS, FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, the higher ranks of our country's military, and of course, the United States Non-Magical Government and the President, know of the world of magic. This has been in knowledge since September 11th, 2001, when we were attacked by terrorists which caused the destruction of the World Trade Center in New York City, and destroyed a section of the Pentagon."

Dumbledore stared, unbelieving of what he heard. "How long has this been?"

"You'd have known yourself if your Ministry would just accept the fact that in this day and age, your British old-world beliefs would be the slow death of your magical society. You people are the last to accept that both worlds are slowly merging. On top of that, for your unauthorized Apparition, you are technically trespassing on American Soil. And because you did not go through Magical Customs, you are hereby under arrest. If you surrender your wands peacefully to my Aurors, we'll take you to the USML Office. Any show of force and you'll be restrained."

Albus never knew just how radically different the world was in today's age. This was going to be some words to discuss with the ICW and the Wizengamot. But, he saw no other choice.

"Very well then madam." He takes his wand out and the nearest Auror takes it. Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall also hand their wands over after one look from Dumbledore. Harry just smiles as he holsters his wand and when the Aurors turned the three British visitors around Harry had slipped something into the old man's pockets. The Aurors take out their Registered Portkeys, and with a flash of magic, disappear.

"Agents, return to work immediately," the Director tells everybody. The floor slowly descends back to everyday work once again, as security leave and return to their posts. Harry holsters his gun and walks up to Amanda.

"Sirius told me what happened. I'll make sure they know of your history. I don't think being taken from the country to attend a wizarding school once again would make you happy, least of all Sirius."

"Thank you Amanda," Harry tells the woman.

The whiskey-eyed woman smiled.

"But once we tell Albus to get his ancient ass back home, he'll no doubt bring all of this crap up to the Ministry in Britain. Then we'll get flooded with calls."

"They just need to accept they're not gods and can control humans like we're beneath them. One day they'll learn that... but I can only foresee such a lesson also meaning the end of their world and their society because they're stagnant of today's events world-wide."

"Well spoken, Agent James. What was that you slipped in Dumbledore's pockets?"

"A simple rejection leter."

"Ah. Okay then. Give Sirius my regards."

Harry watches as the woman walks back up the stairs and begins to talk with the Director as the two adults disappear into MTAC.

"... I hope he doesn't cause me any trouble."

"Who? That Dumbledore guy?"

"Yeah Tony. If you read what you saw my snooping teammate... at least in Europe's wizarding society he has a lot of political power. He'll probably raise a stink about what was revealed to him, but once my old wizarding professors and Headmistress Lime show him my credentials when it comes to my magical education, he'll shut up."

"Is it really as bad as you say, Harry?" Kate questioned.

"Think of it like the time of Merlin, the old Dark Ages, classic Victorian era, like 1800s. They never heard of electricity, and barely use any technology we take for granted today. And if they ever came across a computer, chances are they won't understand even now to turn it on... I pity them, actually..."

Harry sits down at his desk.

"In Europe, most magicals who are quote unquote, pure of blood, simply believe that muggles, those who cannot do magic – and not the tricks that Penn and Teller do at Las Vegas, Tony – are inferior to them and thus believe they are more superior than the rest of the world, and think that because they can do magic, means they can be like gods. And that kind of ill logic leads to racism and bigotry."

Harry pops his pen cap off.

"Racism and bigotry soon will lead to hate, hate will bleed into violence, violence will lead to fighting, and fighting will break into war. And such concepts is what I believe would bring a downfall to their way of living."

"Never spoken such truer words, Harry," Gibbs says, agreeing with Harry's wise thinking.

"They can change, but the first step is admitting they need it. It could very well be years, or centuries, until they finally accept help," said McGee, understanding what Harry was speaking, "But by then, it could be too late."

Harry smiles.

"Wise words yourself, McGoo," Tony tells Tim.

"I need some coffee," Gibbs says, heading out again.

Harry chuckles.

"In my year since I joined working with him and Tony here replacing former NCIS Agent Vivian Blackadder, I have never seen Gibbs use the restroom, even after drinking what would amount to a month's worth of coffee."

"I'd think of something else. Could get the old Gibbs smack for thinking into dangerous territory," Tony playfully warns the teen.

"Whatever... as soon as I finish this report, I'm going to head to the stores to buy some things for my computer at home, maybe some new video games, too... and music. Then I'm going to surf the web and find some full episodes of Furi Kuri to download and such, along with Japanese Pop music."

"Downloading music, from the internet? Wouldn't that be illegal?" Kate speaks up.

"I may be working for a governmental agency, but technically, I'm still a teenager... a sixteen year old teenager looking for a girlfriend still, therefore... I am entitled to enjoy the benefits of being a teenager whose daytime job is shooting bad guys for a living."

Tony simply smirks. "Yeah Kate. What other kind of teenager in the whole world can say he or she has an official job that on weekends catches a terrorist or two?"

"Well... that is true. Until I met Harry back then, I never would have believed a teenager who is a child prodigy can have such a high-ranking job with a salary that would make most kids jealous."

Harry rolls his eyes, but with a smile as he resumes writing.

"Say Harry, I have a question," McGee speaks up after a minute of silence.

"Yeah Tim, what is it?" he replies to the resident tech geek of the group, looking up from his papers.

"What's Furi Kuri?"

=0=0=

Harry James, age sixteen (soon to be seventeen), born August 7th of 1989, had a family, but for as long as he knew, his parents never came for him and previously left him with an abusive family that nearly killed him had he not been rescued by Gibbs when he was six years old. He owed his life to the man; otherwise he would have been dead today. In 1992, he met his godfather, who had been wrongfully imprisoned for twelve years before doing the impossible and escaping England's wizarding prison Azkaban, and it wasn't until 1997 that Queen Elizabeth stepped her foot down upon the corrupt government officials (in the British Ministry of Magic with the help of the Prime Minister), that he was finally exonerated of all crimes, his criminal records expunged, and he no longer had to live under witness protection by the United States government then seeking asylum after finally finding Harry, his precious godson, in America.

Of course, even after all was made public and Sirius was no longer hunted by any bounty hunters, hired hit-men or assassins (and secretly by British Hit-Wizards), his so-called family that left him with those abusive Dursleys never contacted him. After a week of no reply, he quit, and assumed they never wanted him back. But still, he had a great life. He was discovered to be a prodigy, and blazed through his school years (and before moving in with Sirius, lived with a foster family that adopted him and took care of him in his younger years). By the time he turned fifteen, he had obtained his degree in law enforcement, and worked to wanting to work for Gibbs at NCIS. And by sixteen, he's been working with NCIS for nearly a year. His life was as perfect as he wanted it to be, aside some challenges such as some adults still believing he should be in high school... but he passed by them when they blocked his path.

Harry pulls up to the house they live at in a nice neighborhood, only six blocks from where Gibbs lived, in fact. It was a nice home, added to the construction once approved by the city. Once a single story home with a furbished basement now had a second story floor where his bedroom was half the top floor's attic complete with electronics and some of his gaming consoles, large TV, a large window (for better ventilation during the warm months) and other things a teenager his age (ignoring the fact he's working with a federal agency) would have/want. The time is 9:34 PM.

"Well... Sirius must be home... would have thought he'd be with Cassandra."

Nevertheless, as Harry walks closer to the door, he heard faint yelling inside his home. Quickly slipping his hand towards his holstered gun, he pulls it and his cell out and quick-dials Gibbs' number.

_"Hello?"_

"Boss, I need you here now. I hear voices and I doubt they are any of mine and my godfather's friends."

_"I'll be there as fast as I can. Stay put, Harry."_

Gibbs hangs up, as he was already rushing out the door, gun in hand and dialing Tony's number next as he quickly prints down the block. In two minutes, the yelling had increased, but he felt a tap on his shoulder, and saw Gibbs, armed with his gun. With a nod to his boss, he quietly twists the knob, finding it unlocked. The two quickly but quietly sneak into the home, guns trained. The yelling was coming from the main living room.

Harry sprinted past the door while Gibbs himself presses against the opposite wall, and with a count of three, the two kick the doors open, and point their guns.

"NCIS! Freeze right there!" Gibbs shouts in his commanding "you're a bad guy and I'm going to kick your ass today!" voice.

"Whoa! Harry stop!" Sirius yelled, as the strangers, four adults, and two adolescent children, pointed sticks back at Harry and Gibbs.

"Sirius... what the fuck is going on and who are these strangers?"

Harry did not put his gun down.

"Harry... it's okay... they're not bounty hunters or assassins... they're... they're old friends."

Harry gave a hard glare at the ones whom appeared to be intruding in his house, before slowly he lowered his gun. Gibbs followed his example.

"Boss?"

"Clear, DiNozzo," Harry shouted out to the main hallway.

In a flash Kate, Tony, and McGee all cautiously walk into the living room.

"Gibbs called me and said some strangers were inside your home. So I turned my car and sped straight here risking a speeding ticket."

"Apparently, old friends who dropped in unannounced..." He looks at Kate and McGee, "I know you don't live quite that far... but Kate?"

"Giving me a ride because my car is in the shop," McGee says.

"And you left your PDA back at the office and I was coming by to drop it off when Tony called," Kate explained.

"Sirius, what the hell is going on?" Gibbs demanded an answer.

"Harry..." the red-headed woman whispered, looking shocked seeing Harry wield a gun, and with some strange silver gray-haired muggle. She put her wand away, and James and Remus did as well, her husband motioning for his children to do the same.

"Harry, Jethro... these visitors are... old friends of mine from my past," Sirius explained, "and Harry... they're your family that never responded when my life turned around for the better."

Harry holsters his gun and stares hard at his "family". He had sought them out when he was eight years old, wanting to find them, and reconnect with the people that had left him. He wanted to seek answers to his questions. One of them was why they didn't want to raise him...

"My family... the people who abandoned me to those dirt bag Dursleys, and left me to a life of physical and emotional abuse?"

"Harry... please understand-"

"No. No, I do not understand why you abandoned me like trash to your sister, my aunt whom I am loath to admit as such, allowed her husband and son to torment me, and force me to work like a fucking slave... why did you do what you did?"

"Because when you were born, we were told... t-that you were... handicapped," James said, not wanting to explain in wizarding terms that his fourth-born son was a said to be a Squib by the Mediwizards at St. Mungos in front of muggles.

"And by handicapped, you mean you believed I was born a Squib," Harry remarked, and watched as the strange family grew horrified looks, "that I will never be able to use magic, or do wondrous things."

"You... you broke the Statue of Secrecy in front of muggles."

Harry snorted.

James took out his wand, because as an Auror, he had to Obliviate the muggles so they forget that his fourth son just broke the secrecy about their world, but Harry was quicker. With a simple flick of a black and white-mixed Japanese Black Pine wand at ten and one half inches, James' wand was banished from his hand as it clattered on the floor, before quickly zipping past and Harry expertly caught the slender wood in his free hand.

"From what I know, I as given up because I apparently was born with no magic... but how can you explain me using magic effortlessly? Or better yet, can a child prodigy who graduated school at age eleven and completed college at age fifteen, be magically adept with wordless casting and an intermediate talent for wandless casting?"

Harry smiled.

"Don't be surprised. Ever since September 11, 2001, the Wizarding Society of America had finally decided that because of the threat of terrorism crossing and meshing both worlds together have fully revealed themselves to the U.S. Government. While the general populous was still kept in the dark about the existence of magic, only those in the U.S Federal Agencies, and the Government including the President of the United States of America, know about magic. And with the threat of war against terrorism, we work together now and then; especially when a criminal being chased by one of our federal agencies, have to deal with one of a magical nature."

"James... Lily..." Sirius spoke up, feeling the hard tension in the room, "meet your son whom you neglected; Special Agent Harry Regulus James of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, or NCIS. The man with silver hair is his boss, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and his co-workers and Harry's team agents Timothy McGee, Kaitlin Todd formally of the Secret Service, and Anthony DiNozzo."

"Regulus James? But it's Potter, Sirius. He's my son!"

"He had his name legally changed by the courts, and I accepted the name replacements long after Queen Elizabeth practically saved me from getting killed by that asshole Fudge," Sirius said with a grunt of disdain for the (last he heard) former Minister when he was ousted on the vote of no confidence, as well as insulting Her Majesty's Royal Crown and breaking the original oaths made with the Queen's family in ancient times, "he has the name after my little brother who sacrificed his life defacing that dark wanker by destroying one of his precious items of extreme interest, and took his middle name and made it his last after a foster family by the same name who accepted him, and took care of him in my stead until I was finally free of all crimes I never committed."

Then Sirius gave a dark look. "And you lost all rights of being his father when you left him on that doorstep, and breaking my trust for you... if it wasn't for Gibbs, Harry would be dead today. He saved Harry when I was still on the run for crimes I never did..."

"Whoa... this is tense," Tony whispered to Kate and McGee.

"I wonder how Harry's feeling... his family just drop in after all these years of never looking for him..."

"If I know Harry... he's really pissed."

"The only person who can say he was like a father to me is my boss. He saved me from being murdered by Vernon Dursley, and protected me until I met Sirius who sought political asylum due to crimes he's been accused of doing. Maybe several years ago, I would have still been more accepting, but I grew up, and I had moved on. I accepted my real family didn't love me anymore, but I had Sirius and Gibbs. I also had Grandma Mallard, and before Sirius was finally able to walk freely with no worries of being murdered, I had a foster family with the last name James who took me in willingly, and cared for me. I had a brother, a sister, another father, and a mother. I had a family that replaced you..."

By now, Lily was in tears.

"I want you out. Go back to your home, and never come back. The only people I need are in this room, and living across the street from mine and Sirius's house. I am fully happy with my life. And don't ever bother us again. Sirius and I are having a much better life than what I would have gotten in England, especially Sirius. I have friends in high places if you cross us again. You're not my family no more... you only gave enough to conceive me but that was it. Emma and David are my parents now..."

Harry noticed the two older boys; he assumed would have been his brothers (had he grown up with them instead of abandoned), getting angry at him.

"Why are you doing this?" the eldest brother yelled.

"Why? Because I have brothers and sisters... sorry but they gave me up, they forfeit their right to try and take me back."

"James, Lily... you, Remus, and your children should just leave... a long time ago I was blamed for something I never did, and you broke our brother bond by accusing me of working for that dark bastard when it was Peter who betrayed us. You betrayed my trust I once had with you, Lily, and Remus. And surviving Azkaban, I just cannot come to forgive you for not being there, or not defending me... I would have died for you, you know..."

"Pad-"

"No. Only Harry has any right calling me by my Marauder nickname... not you, or Remus. Just leave, and make sure you tell Dumbledore to stay away from me and Harry. The world's very different today, but only Europe's magical side refuses to step into the 21th century."

"... B-but... my son-"

"I told you... you are not my mother. During college, I took and completed my magical schooling so I don't need to go to Hogwarts. I have a job, I have a life. I don't need anything from you. I have everything I want. Just return home and forget me like you did all those years ago."

"Leave," Sirius says one last time, "before I contact the magical law enforcement and have you leave by force."

"... You changed," Remus finally spoke.

"Wrongful imprisonment from a corrupt magical government will change you, especially when you had to live a life of hiding from assassins trying to kill me until the Royal Crown literally saved my ass."

Harry stared at the family as they finally leave, his teammates parting to let them pass. The girl, who appeared to only be 12 or 13, was staring at him with sad green eyes like his, but he said nothing. He has a family. He didn't need another that left him all alone as a toddler.

"Harry?" Kate spoke to him, gently grabbing his shoulder.

"Hm?"

"You going to be okay, kid?" Tony asks the teen.

"When I was little, I would have been accepting then, and wanting answers to questions I had for them... but they never responded, and I gave up all hopes. Besides, the James Family filled in the roles they abandoned, and before that, I had Gibbs who saved me when I was little. I have great friends, a family who took me as their own child and gave me the love I wished for, and a godfather who I love with all my heart... if I was told I could change one thing... I'd say no. I already have everything I wanted in life."

Behind him, Gibbs held a small smile on his face. He may miss his first wife and his daughter every day, but all those years ago, when he saved Harry from near-death, he vowed to help the boy. And he had no doubt Harry was destined for great things in life. After all, he has friends and a family that loves him.

"Are you going to be alright, Sirius?"

"I'll be fine now... I just need to set security up a higher level for tonight. And Harry despite working for NCIS still has to go to bed."

"Sirius! You make it sound like I have school in the morning!"

The tense atmosphere melted to one of fun, as Harry smiled. Tony laughs aloud, and he moves to avoid Harry's playful punch to the arm. McGee and Kate were also smiling at the scenery, as Sirius is tackled and Harry, for a moment, acted like your ordinary sixteen year old teenager, roughhousing with a man who could very well claim the role of fatherhood next to Harry's adopted father, David.

"And that's why Harry is a special young man," Gibbs cryptically says, watching Harry and Sirius wrestle one another, and Tony pretends to be the referee.

"Oh?"

Kate looks to Gibbs, then back to the two men, as Harry "pins" Sirius, and then promptly hugs the man.

"He's destined for great things in life, Kate... I simply was there to guide him. Sirius and Harry's foster family did the rest."

He then turns around to leave.

"Get some rest team," he tells them.

"See ya tomorrow, Harry," Tony bids, leaving the room. Kate smiles and says goodnight, leaving Harry's PDA on the nearby coffee table. McGee smiles, also says goodnight, and follows Kate.

"Sirius... thanks," Harry whispers still hugging his godfather tightly.

"You're welcome, pup," Sirius whispers back to his godchild.

Back in Scotland, Dumbledore didn't notice the letter in his robes until just now, when he took them off, and it had fallen out of his pocket. Picking the letter up, he unfolded the simple muggle stationary.

_Dear Albus One-Too-Many-Names Dumbledore,_

_And yes, I do believe you have too many names in the Wizarding World History books. Regarding your invite to your school, I have told you in person I decline. However, I still felt with this letter, the rejection is final. Therefore, once again, I decline your invitation to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Reasons that are is by tomorrow in Greenwich time if my calculations are correct, Headmistress Lime of Sunnyvale Magical Academy with the Board of Wizarding Education will be sending you my credentials, thus satisfying Europe's Wizarding World I have already completed all known testings, and thus require no more magical schooling._

_Have a good day and life,_

_Harry Regulus James_

_P.S._

_I legally changed my name from Potter to James. Therefore, I am no longer a Potter.  
><em>

Dumbledore folded the letter, and heads towards the copy of the Invitational Tome that Minerva would have as Deputy Headmistress, and flipped the pages. There, Harry's full name was listed: HARRY J. POTTER (HARRY R. JAMES). It slowly changed from emerald green to full black, before the ink began to erase itself. After it vanished, the names below and on the pages beyond of the 2005 list rose one space to fill the empty bracket magically. A week later, a woman, a Marine, was at a shopping mart when she is stopped by a friend she knew. The two women begin to chat, and it is learned the Marine woman was on Terminal Leave, and is set to retire soon.

"Oh, your shopping cart is getting away," the other woman warned.

"Oh, it's fine. So..."

The shopping cart continues to roll, until it gently bumps into the Marine's van... It promptly explodes into a massive fireball, the explosion knocking the two ladies to the ground, and strewing debris all around. Police, medical teams, and firefighters will arrive to assess the damage, and half an hour later, Gibbs and his team are called to the scene for yet another investigation.

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><p><strong>I enjoyed writing this. So glad I was able to finish this oneshot...<strong>

**I have been sick for the past two, almost three weeks, but my cold and flu is going away, I hope to resume writing eventually.**

**This chapter had a lot of mistakes to correct when I originally uploaded to the Doc Manager such as some of my words were all bunched together and I had to correctly space them again. This is by far, the LONGEST I have ever written in my life: 13,000+ word(s) total (according to FanFiction's Doc Manger).**

**The part where McGee asks Harry what Furi Kuri was, if this was a real episode, that is where it would end on a funny note, with Harry barking out a laugh with DiNozzo and Kate also wondering what Furi Kuri was. Of course I would have added more detail, such as more Ducky and Abby time but... well it was well written enough for my tastes. And, despite how long it is, it HAS a rejection letter. This is one of the more original I have ever made in a long while.  
><strong>

**Please make some nice reviews! I worked real hard on this as you can see. Thanks everyone!** :D

**Furi Kuri**~**  
><strong>


	12. Furi Kuri: FLCL 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K Rowling, the woman behind the series, owns this genre, along with other companies and whatnot that help make this series enjoyable in the world. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

**Author****'****s**** Note:** Beware some forms of insanity... also, Harry's not alone this time in the oneshot. Enjoy!

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><p>Harry was minding his own business, as he walked down the street two blocks from the school. Of course, he wasn't walking alone. He had a friend walking with him. Her name was Hermione, and she was one of his few friends (and also his half-sister by adoption) he had at school that befriended him, or didn't believe the nasty rumors and the hateful lies his former caretakers, the Dursleys, spread about him. Some still believed them, but the majority knew the Dursley adults were child abusers after one incident where his uncle had assaulted him violently with a shovel and Hermione's family were driving by when it happened. Dan Granger was a former judge before taking on his family's dentistry practice along with his wife, Emma, and therefore had some old ties and favors. Harry was taken away from the family, and Dan's uncle adopted him. As for Vernon and Petunia Dursley, they were in prison. Vernon's dead as of today; shanked by a violent inmate. Petunia committed suicide.<p>

"I hope uncle isn't weirding the neighbors again," Hermione said, breaking the silence.

"Oh... Kenny... right..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry replied.

"C'mon, tell me," Hermione prodded, as she clung to his arm.

Harry said nothing, as she snuggled close to him.

"... I had a bad feeling something odd is going to happen, soon. And it has to do with these damn things I have on top my head." Harry took off his green and white-striped bucket hat off his head, revealing black cat ears are perched on top his head. They give a small twitch.

"Oh... well... hopefully it doesn't cause any damage to London like two months ago, when you saved the city from that weird-o baseball-like satellite."

"Yeah... then again, I don't know what kind of crazy crap these ears would create when it happens."

Hermione pushes herself off him and runs ahead. They were close to their neighborhood block where they lived. "Well... don't worry about it. Besides you look cute with them ears. And at least it wasn't something freaky like... a second dick?" Harry's cheeks turned red, causing her to giggle. She smiles cutely, "Let's race."

In the nearby tree, an owl watches as Harry puts the hat back on his head and chases after his half-sister. In another neighborhood, an old woman with one to many cats was arrested by police because she's been tagged as an animal hoarder, and all of her cats were being taken away. The family next door just watched, as did other neighbors, as the woman screamed that she can't lose her cats. Poor Arabella Figg...

=0=0=

Harry's house was unlike many of the other homes in the neighborhood, but many in the neighborhood did mind their own business. It was unlike the other houses on the block. It was the neighborhood's only small block shop. A bread store... Kenny's family held small bread shops in Washington, all the way in America, and when Kenny moved to the United Kingdom, he opened his own shop in the neighbor, after completely renovating the house so it was half Europe half American architect. So, everybody pretty much accepted the otherwise insane things that have occurred at the home... that is, ever since the father and son duo hired that pink-haired housekeeper with the green yellow eyes (sometimes people say her eyes were like the color of gold)... Haruko Haruhara. She arrived to the country one year ago... it happened just like this...

Harry was minding his own business, as he walked down the street two blocks from the school going a completely different route. Of course, he wasn't walking alone. He had a friend walking with him. Her name was Hermione, and she was one of his few friends (and also his half-sister by adoption) he had at school that befriended him. Of course, in this scene, Harry and Hermione are a year younger, and were heading towards a small corner shop for soft drinks. And why ten year olds are walking home (after going to a local shop for soft drinks to enjoy) from school is a question that remains to be answered at all. Maybe the author's lazy... who knows.

Anyway, regardless of what the author was doing or thinking...

"I hope uncle isn't weirding the neighbors again," Hermione said, breaking the silence.

"Oh... Kenny... right..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry replied.

"C'mon, tell me," Hermione prodded, as she clung to his arm.

Harry said nothing, as she snuggled close to him.

Whoa, is this déjà vu...? I could have sworn this was written already...?

"Markus and Daniel were being perverts again..."

"Hm?"

"Earlier at lunch today, they asked if I do perverted incest with you."

Hermione groaned in disappointment. "Why are you friends with them again?"

"Because I saved them from Dudley who's in Military School because he's like Vernon in a violent abusive sense," was the green-eyed boy's reply with his half-sister's question.

"Oh... the tub of lard with the blond wig... I wonder how he is today..." a rather evil grin crossed the girl's face. To a passerby, would look oh so wrong on her face, "probably getting tormented because he thinks he can get what he wants..."

Then she looks at her half-brother.

"Now, what would you believe? Would you really enjoy doing perverted incest with me?"

Harry blushed a bit.

"I dunno," he says slowly, looking away, "I mean, how can it be incest if our DNA isn't directly relative matched?"

"Well, it can still be as such since you were adopted by my crazy uncle Kenny from Colorado."

Soon, they reached the corner shop where with the money given to them by their parents (in Harry's case, he stole the money from his wallet) they bought their drinks, Harry saw a nice bucket hat that was green and white-striped which he also purchased, and then started walking home. It was a short silence, of near quiet sips of Crystal Pepsi from their medium-cup drinks, when Hermione once again has the need to break the silence.

"You got that look on your face. And don't lie; I know what you are thinking so..."

"I wasn't thinking anything perverted if that's what you mean."

"Really?" she punctuates this with a long drawn slurping sip of her Crystal Pepsi, "then you wouldn't mind if I say this: why did we have a minor discussion on incest?"

"..." Harry takes a long sip of his own soda, "Markus and Daniel are perverts. It's not like I think of porn like they seem to do. Makes me wonder why the teacher never caught them when they brought that Hustler magazine to school today."

"You brought it up." Another odd smile crosses her lips, "so, you'd fuck me, Harry?"

And cue Harry's surprised spit-take with coughs, making Hermione laugh.

"Hermione!"

"Sorry, but your expression was just funny," she said, giggles still bubbling from her.

Harry grunts, and finishes his drink before tossing it. Yeah, so he littered...so what? Hermione did the same upon finishing hers. Mmm, Crystal Pepsi... They need to bring it back because this author never tried to before when it first came out for only a very short period of time. They were walking past a park when they heard a noise. It sounded like a powered scooter. They turned around to see what it was, when they saw a young woman, wielding a navy blue, left-handed Rickenbacker Bass Guitar model-4001. She was driving a sunglow Piaggio Vespa SS 180. Bright red coat, black pants, white boots, and lemon chiffon colored scarf, she wore a helmet and had goggles to protect her eyes as she sped down the street.

"That woman's driving fast," Hermione noted.

The woman grins, as she spies her target, and prepares to swing her axe guitar, when suddenly she struck an empty soda can. The chaos that ensued was her crashing horribly, but her Vespa continued to tumble and skid and roll along the street, heading straight towards Harry and Hermione.

"Hermione!" Harry shouted, and shoved the girl out of the way, but he wasn't able to save himself.

CRASH!

Harry is sent spinning wildly as the Vespa crashes away, before it flipped on the last turn, and its kickstands pop down and rests. Harry however spirals across a short distance (a random girl in the scene snaps a picture of spinning Harry) and crashes along the grass and rolls to a stop before a tree.

"Harry!" Hermione shouted out, horrified her half-brother could very well be hurt badly.

"HOLD IT!"

Hermione nearly tripped but held her balance. Turning to the voice, she spies the very same woman that caused the accident... why is her hand spinning completely around? The strange woman in less than a second, scooted right up to her, freaking her out and she fell on her butt.

"Don't touch him," she tells Hermione.

"Wha? But my brother's hurt!" she yells back.

The woman blinks, a smile forming.

"Brother, eh?"

Hermione rushed to her brother's side, but she got pushed aside as the woman gazes at Harry. Turning him around, Harry showed the signs of complete unconsciousness. A dribble of drool leaked from his mouth.

"Oh no! He's dead! He's completely and utterly dead! I killed him!"

A cloth drops and covers his face.

"Uh... he needs to go to the hospital..."

The woman didn't hear Hermione as she was muttering about being a murderer, and that she didn't look good in kill-me orange... while spinning around and scooting on her crouching knees position... in a half circle around the totally confused girl.

"Oh!" She grabs the cloth and wipes his face completely clean. "Okay you! Breathe! LIVE FOR ME!" She shouts loudly, ripping her helmet and goggles off and tossing into the air. The woman bends down, grabbing the boy by the sides of his head, and leans down. Hermione watched, stunned. Lip meets lip with a hard lock, and Hermione's mouth drops, shock displayed as by the woman's movement, she appeared to be tonguing her brother's mouth. The helmet and goggles finally hit the ground with a clatter.

Caw... caw... goes a crow as it flies by lazily.

Across the Wizarding World, gold-digging sluts and little girls like Ginerva Weasley felt a great disturbance in their future plans to steal the Potter fortune/steal the heart of the Boy-Who-Lived. In another house, nine year old Luna Lovegood smiled in an odd way while playing House Witch with her dolls. The next sentence was going to be censored, but I don't care so here's a Luna moment!

"Harry's getting tongued by a hot shotacon," she absentmindedly quotes aloud, drawing looks from her father before he resumes working on the next edition of The Quibbler.

Back across the country to the location of the park, Hermione continues to stare gobsmacked before the strange woman with hot pink hair pulls back, and stares down.

"Hm..."

Harry then showed life, as he cries out in horrendous pain, as well as spit because he tasted something that wasn't his in his mouth... was that ABC gum he spit out? He clutched his head where the pain was emanating from, wincing as he tried to block out the pain as hard as he could. Hermione crawled over to him quickly and inspected his head, where there was a nasty bump. However, there was no skin breakage, or any form of lacerations.

"What the hell? What did you do to me?" Harry yelled at the crazy hot pink-haired woman.

"You are useless!" she yells back however, getting up with a swipe of her items and walks to her Vespa.

"You jerk! You could have killed me!"

"Harry... did you tongue her back?" she had to ask.

"What?"

He looks at her, before looking back at the woman who jump-starts her scooter.

"Loser!" the woman parts and then with what should only happen in a cartoon or at least in an anime, the strange woman shot like she was equipped with four JATO rockets.

ZOOM she goes in a large billow of white smoke, the wind factor of the boost blowing them back with cries of shock and awe. Any traffic in her way, or pared vehicle, sadly got tumbled around like a pouting child kicking a house made of those linking wood logs. Hermione and Harry coughed, trying to wave the smoke away. When it had cleared, the woman was already gone.

"Man... what was that?" Hermione questioned, "How can a scooter drive like that?"

With another cough, "I don't know Hermione..."

"Oh... are you okay, Harry?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Hermione," he responds, getting up and helping his half-sister off the ground, "let's just get home before it gets dark."

She nodded, grabbing their school bags. Harry was rubbing the bump on his head however as they left the park and headed home. Overnight, Harry's bump began to grow, and soon formed a squared knob-like horn. It remained hidden behind bandage-taped gauze... three days later, and after more run-ins with the strange but insane-like woman, Hermione collapsed before a robot with a TV for a head grew from his head followed by another robot that looked like a giant hand with thick detached forearm and several cables. That destroyed the Millennium Bridge after the events ended, and then the woman remained in the neighborhood, as Harry and Kenny's house keeper, along with the robot that was nicknamed Kanti. The rest of the year... some days was strange and wacky, other days were just normal (that is, normal enough when Kanti made world news as a robot, and the hype had quickly died out in only three days).

Now, back to the present day and year...

BANG!

A family across the street corner of the block heard it. The Polkiss Family (they used to live in Little Whinging until the Dursley incident, they moved... at the forced behest of the mother's urging) wisely ignored the chaos that was about to erupt again tonight. In fact, everyone else in distance heard the boom, and wisely ignored the chaos. Even Harry's half-sister's family whom lived next-door to the corner shop was used to the strangeness happening at the bakery shop.

"Oh, Haruko-chan! Don't be so cruel!" the American man yells blissfully, using Japanese honorifics for some strange reason.

Another explosion ripples through the night air, rocking the house in a comical sense right out of a Gainax anime. The shared garage between the bakery shop and Hermione's family remained untouched by the occurring chaos. Harry watched eating his dinner, as his sometimes odd father and Haruko fought in an epic battle of rubber bullets, punching glove-sprigged mechanisms, and Kenny being on the losing end while Haruko, the neighborhood's vixen housekeeper, was dressed in a satin nightgown that barely covered her butt completely grasping a semiautomatic Tec-9.

"Peeping pervert! You'll never to touch the Promised Land, I swear it! RRRRRRAAAAAAHH!"

And she fires more, pummeling the poor odd man. How she's firing more bullets than what small clip the gun could virtually hold was nothing more than magic... and a mystery that could break your mind from reality. It was the usual chaos, that is when it doesn't involve strange things growing out of his head, guitar head-smashing like axe swords, Kanti the robot that's now the city-wide known living droid with a TV for a head (and also part maid part worker boy part cook), and Haruko when she causes half the chaos on her Vespa (oh the property damage that cumulates on the city taxes). Harry lifts his dinner off the table before said table got destroyed, his father crashing into the TV, and for some reason flocks of doves flew free.

"Can you stop it guys?"

"Why?" Haruko coos, brushing cheek to cheek with the green-eyed boy.

Harry's cheeks lit with a light blush, but that was it. Over the year she first came into the house, he's gotten used to her antics. He still had a light problem though because currently the only thing keeping her decently modest was the satin nightgown she wore.

"I wonder why the military wasn't sent out in the year since you came to Europe," he comments. Haruko ninja-like snags the American French fry out from his hand, and snacked on the thick large smooth cut fry.

"That's because I'm a good girl," she says with a sly smile.

"Good girl?"

"Yeah! I'm sugar, spice, and everything nice!" she shouts with a strum of her guitar.

Harry's response is to chomp down on the double cheeseburger that was tonight's dinner. Their dinner guest, Hermione, scooted closer to her half-brother. She remained quit during the "fight", if one wishes to call it such.

"So Hermione-chan... David and Emma working late?"

She sips her tea. "Yeah... tomorrow they're going to head out on their traditional dentistry trip."

"I see... they probably have fun buying all sorts of teeth health toys and stuff."

Kenny, who was dressed in clothes eerily making him look like Lupin III (aside having a small mustache and goatee and short slicked dark brown hair) tries to grope a distracted Haruko, but she easily avoids and once again the chaos of battle resumes. The two preteens just eat and drink, while watching from the corner was Kanti.

Tap-tap-tap...

All chaos suddenly dies, and to the rest of the neighborhood, sighs of relief is exhaled. Kanti walked over to the window, and opened it, and in came a tawny brown barn owl, carrying a parchment-styled envelope, two in fact. Haruko snatched the envelopes from the owl and it lands on top of the book shelf.

"Huh... never knew owls delivered mail," said Haruko.

"They don't. Animals can be trained to do some things, but I never heard of a common barn owl doing this."

"I see," Haruko mumbled, "and the package has to weight more than that tiny little owl can carry. Maybe it's an alien."

She rips the envelopes open and pulls out two identical letters; however one was addressed to Hermione Granger, while the second was addressed to a Harry Potter.

"Dear blah blah blah... invited to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, blah blah blah... Terms begin this September 1st... Huh... whoever wrote this odd letters saying you got magic and can go to a magic school... like pulling rabbits out of hats? And wasn't Potter your old last name?"

Harry blinks and grabs the letters from Haruko's hand.

"Magic, huh?"

"Magic doesn't exist. It's impossible," Hermione stated, "sure it's nice to do magic but it's all just very fancy tricks and illusions. If magic really DID exist, then it should be used to end world hunger, cure incurable diseases, and end wars and stuff."

"And what about the crazy crap that grows out of my head?"

"Not magic because everything that's happened over the year she vaguely explains," Hermione replies, motioning to Haruko who was stealing the last of Harry's French fries.

Harry still didn't understand much about this whole N.O. stuff and Medical Mechanica...

"I noticed the name of the school... who'd name a school after pig acne?" Haruko comments.

The two children and pink-haired housekeeper look to the owl, which was just staring at them like a statue.

"Hm... this is bogus," Harry finalized.

"Yeah... I have to agree... whoever thought of this is a real creeper," Hermione agreed.

"Let's tell the police we got some weirdo stalker?" Harry asks his sister.

"Sure, but for now, give me paper and a pencil."

Harry went to the other room, and came back with yellow paper and a pen. She tears a page out and writes a reply.

_Dear crazy person,_

_My half-brother and I received your bogus letters and must respond with "Go fuck yourself." We're contacting the police and are giving them the evidence we have saved as it appears by the letters addressing alone, you are stalking us. We hope you go to prison before you lure anymore victims._

_Sincerely,_

_Hermione and Harry_

Harry was snickering all the while, reading over Hermione's shoulder. "Go fuck yourself?"

Haruko barked a laugh of her own. Hermione just gives Harry a devil's smile. "Penn and Teller are awesome magicians, but magic's all illusions and tricks. I hope the police can find this Minerva person and lock her away and melt the key into fishing sinkers."

Haruko takes the letter, grabs the owl roughly, which for some reason makes a barking chicken noise crossed with Homer Simpson choking his son, then crams the letter into its beak. "Go back to your crazy insane master who wears foil on her head!" And the owl is launched out the window like a baseball, vanishing quickly into the night air. The poor thing... better thrown out then struck by a speeding baseball cracked by a bat.

"Have you ever considered trying out for baseball in America?"

"Nah. Don't feel like going anywhere from Harry-kun," Haruko says glomping the boy, and then nibbling his cat ears and thus making Harry malleable in her grasp. Hermione groaned a bit. She wanted to glomp her brother... and molest him-oh, did I think that aloud?

"You know, every time I see you wear that bucket hat Harry," Haruko speaks, "it's like you're trying to copy Urahara Kisuke's style of fashion."

"Who's Urahara?" Hermione questioned.

"Soul Reaper turned Candy Shop Owner," she replied vaguely.

The owl somehow flew in LEO. Across the river, across the U.S., became the sight of a conspiracy theory of an alien UFO flying across the Mojave Desert, across the ocean again, across the oriental lands, and finally trajectory itself at a curve, where it smashes through the windows, pinball's through the various corridors, crack the skull of Miss Norris on rebound thus killing her (poor insane hated cat), destroy Peeves ghostly soul somehow, until finally blasting through the gargoyle, up the curved stairs blasting the door into splintering, and landing with a hard THWACK into Snape's nose, breaking it and causing blood to spurt like a fountain.

Holy fucking shit...

This chaos interrupted a meeting of Professors discussing the duties some are going to be tasked with preparing the school, and visiting all new muggleborns. Snape roared in pain on the floor, as the owl uncurled from its ball, barely any feathers left and showing friction burns. It belches a letter before falling back, its eyes now swirls. How it survived where the hard rebounds should have killed it long ago will remain a mystery...

"Merlin's balls," Spout shouted. Poppy was at Snape's side, using her wand to heal his broken nose and cleaning the bloodstains in his robes.

"What in the name of..." Dumbledore whispered. This was the most insane he had ever witnessed in all his years as Headmaster of the school.

Flitwick picked up the poor abused owl, while Minerva picked up the letter it had belched up.

"Minerva, what is that?"

"Looks like a reply to one of the invites I had sent out today," she said, drying the wet letter with a quick drying charm, before unfolding it.

"What the bloody hell?" she exclaims.

"What is it, Minnie?" Flitwick asks the Transfiguration Professor, and Head of Gryffindor House.

"The letter was written by a Hermione and Harry Granger! But I know I sent a letter to a Miss Granger, but I do not recall sending one for a Harry Granger. But, my word, the reply is just horribly rude."

Spout took the letter from the woman as she began to mutter, and Spout read the contents. She whistled. "Wow, I never knew an eleven year old had such vocabulary," the Hufflepuff Head of House spoke.

"What does it say?" Dumbledore inquired, curious.

"Basically the writer is telling us to and I quote go fuck off."

Flitwick squeaked and nearly fell off his chair, Minerva grumbled again, and Dumbledore nearly choked on his lemon drop, but caught himself before the rock candy fell down the wrong pipe.

"Ahem," Dumbledore says with a cough at the end, "I see... I still believe that this Miss and Mr. Granger don't understand. Maybe you and Severus can see them tomorrow."

"But are you sure Dumbledore?" Spout questions, "the letter also describes they were calling the muggle aurors they have believing the Hogwarts letter we sent today was a prank."

"A simple explanation and they could change their minds. I have no doubt nothing wrong will happen tomorrow," Dumbledore says, as if everything was going to be alright. After all, Harry Potter was coming to Hogwarts in September. What's the worst thing that could happen?

=0=0=

Snape and McGonagall stare at the... thing... that opened the door. Kanti's monitor flashes briefly before turning around. How it talked, no one knew, or would ever understand. And yet, people knew what it was saying... except our poor wizard and witch at the door.

"Who's at the door, TV boy?" Kenny calls from the kitchen.

Kanti said something with a TV-like sound.

"Oh, if they are customers, let them in... oh and turn the sign around on the window then make breakfast."

Kanti walks off into the bakery home, grabbing an apron off the nearby hook and donning it.

With a pat of his hands of excess flour, Kenny walks from the bakery room and smiles.

"Hello. Are you interested in today's Special? It's Spicy Curry-filled Sourdough Bread. Only 1.43 in British Pound or 1.65 in Euro per loaf..."

It was a Saturday, June 8, so the kids and Haruko were bound to be asleep still.

"Err, no thank you young man. May I ask your name please?"

"The name's Kenny Granger, I'm David's brother. Do you know David and Emma Granger, madam?" the man questions, fixing his glasses back to place.

"Well, we came to see them but there was a message on their door stating they had a relation living next door because-"

"Ah, right," Kenny interrupts, "Dave and Em are gone and won't be back until November because of a trip to America for some Dentistry Con or something. They told me to keep an eye on their daughter Hermione, and am her guardian until their return from their trip."

Kanti walks out with a bottle of Crystal Pepsi, and the man accepted it with a twist of the cap and a swig of the clear soft drink.

"Erm... are you a wizard by any chance?" Minerva questioned.

"What? Wizard? No, I'm just a baker. I used to do magic, but it was when I was a teenager and the whole magic kit set got boring pretty fast. Now Penn and Teller... those two are awesome, and they have great magic shows at Las Vegas."

"But... but what is that thing?" she points to Kanti, who waves before heading back to the kitchens.

"Oh, TV boy? Oh it's just some robot with a TV for a head. I think Hermione nicknamed it Kanti. He's a really great help around the place: cooking, cleaning, and helps when I need extra hands when I get backed up in bakery orders. He even goes to the supermarket for me when I don't have the time to do so. He's really awesome, and can fly."

The two just stared. They had thought it was some very advanced magical golem...

"Well, I smell something nice," a woman's voice spoke form the staircase, as Haruko descends it, fixing her hot pink hair. She wore a simple white t-shirt and pink flannel pajama pants, "hey Kenny, your burning the bread."

"Oh shit!" he shouts, "thanks for the warning Haruko-chan!" and he runs back into the bakery room.

She smiles a devious smile, and then turned her eyes upon the two adults wearing strange clothing. The two nearly flinched upon seeing the woman's golden yellow eyes; was she a werewolf?

"You wear bathrobes over your clothes? Must say it's strange. You're not psychos loose from the loony bin, right? Or homeless? Greasy here looks like he hasn't heard of shampoo in fifty years."

Severus sends his patented "Snape Sneers #6" glare, but Haruko just grins, not phased by the man's glaring look.

"Whatever. I don't care either way. I've seen strange before, and you're not even strange enough," she says in a cryptic tone, her eyes shining with hidden intent, "you should find decent clothes to wear otherwise people may think you're weird, like that old woman who was arrested for hoarding thousands of cats in her home in Little Whinging."

She giggled.

"Poor demented old woman. That Arabella Figg was raving mad they said. I think she must be for having so much pussy scratching, peeing, and pooing every square inch of her home. Talk about being a lonely old bitter spinster..."

She snatched a fresh glazed doughnut off the back rack, stuffing the sugary-glazed goodness in one amazing gulp, then walks back upstairs, snagging her navy blue guitar from the closet as she returned to the staircase.

"Wake up Harry-kun!" she is heard shouting, followed by the startled cry of a boy, then a heavy crash.

"How many times have I told you not to scare meeeeehhh ahh... s-s-stop it... that's..."

"Haruko! Leave Harry alone," a girl's voice is heard next, followed by what sounded suspiciously like erotic moaning.

"But he's so cute like a cat with the cat ears... all he needs is a tail and he's every nekomimi fan's fetish," the woman, now identified as Haruko, told the voice of the girl, "just rub him and he makes cute moaning sounds. I heard Sherrice did that to him yesterday at school, and made him like melted putty. Hehehe..."

There was a bit of silence, until Harry groaned again.

"Cut it out..." he moaned, as upstairs, he was trying to hide his... tenting problem in his pajama pants with his hands.

"Ahh... poor Harry. Harry is my son," Kenny explained to the strangers who were still there, "adopted him when he was little after I moved here from America. David told me some asshole family was abusing him. They made world news as the worst scum of humans on the face of the Earth... uh; I believe their names were Vernon and Petunia Dursley."

He turned around to work with the batch of doughnuts he baked, and thus did not see the looks on their faces when he mentioned the Dursleys.

"Yeah. That Vernon bastard is in a prison grave today, while that fat whale's horse-necked wife is in a women's prison. Dunno if she's still roughing it or she also died. They should have got hung from the gallows, but I didn't choose their sentences. Their son is in Military School after he was caught assaulting and raping a girl, and countless abuse convictions from his former victims. Poor insane demented boy... He unfortunately takes after his father."

The sound of footfalls is heard as Haruko jumps off the third step and onto the floor.

"The kids are up," she quipped with a grin.

"Haruko-chan! My love!"

"Shut up you and finish them doughnuts!"

"Okay," he says with a kind smile, and resumes frosting one batch of doughnuts with chocolate, while another batch is glaze-dunked.

The bell jungles and an elderly couple walk into the bakery, and Haruko pushes the two bathrobe-clad freaks with a shove. With a pull of her clothes, the pants and shirt flutter towards the staircase as she is now magically clad in a maid outfit. Severus and Minerva wondered how the girl did that. Was it magic? If it was, then she was violating several laws of using magic in front of muggles.

"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Bridges. Would you like the usual order today?"

"Yes please," Mrs. Bridges replies with a kind smile. The smiles on the elderly, to our Hogwarts Professors, were as if they had seen this everyday and go on without a shrug or a second glance.

"Coming right up!" she says, and off she heads into the back to check on Kenny's baking loaves in the ovens.

"You need to get rid of them ears soon," Hermione tells Harry as she walks down the stairs, dressed in a pair of Harry's sweatpants and an ice hockey jersey.

"I want them off. They're too sensitive," Harry grumbled as he follows Hermione, clad in only a pair of emerald green shorts. Severus and Minerva stayed silent, but they saw the lightning bolt-shaped scar, faded as it was, on the boy's temple while he was rubbing his sleepy green eyes and trying to fix his unruly and messy black hair... the boy had familiar green eyes; only one woman had such a vivid color. This was Lily's son! And he had dark cat ears on top of his head, like they came from a Transfiguration spell gone wrong!

"The next loaves won't be done for another ten minutes. I made you some sweetened lemon hot tea meanwhile," she tells the couple, as they take seats by the window. They accept the cups the tea she gave them, and they sip the warm brew.

"Thank you Haruko," Mrs. Bridges thanks the young woman, who bows formally and skips into the kitchens.

Off to the countryside from London, there was a place where a building existed. It was shaped like a hand iron. It billows steam when the grandfather clock struck nine with a tolling chime. The building billows steam, but it also gives out a soft low klaxon-like alarm. Harry drops his glass and it breaks upon hitting the ground, and groans in pain.

"Oh shit... not again," Harry grunted. The pounding headache pierces his skull, as the cat ears flinch before growing longer and sharper. From the back of his skull, another ear grows, but rapidly it shifts into claws.

"Haruko! It's happening again!" Hermione shouted in panic.

Kenny whispered uh-oh under his breath. Haruko rushes into the room, followed by the two Hogwarts visitors, only they were the sight to witnessing something GROWING out of Harry POTTER's head! He cried as it stabs the ceiling, but Kanti minimizes the damage by grabbing the claws, and rushes out the back, Harry being carried, or rather, dragged out. Haruko straps her guitar, and rushes to the garage.

"Haruko!" Hermione yelled.

"Damn... this is going to be bad," she whispers.

BOOM she goes on her Vespa in a billowing cloud of smoke. Hermione stares, as Kanti was blasted back by a medical mechanica that exploded from Harry's head, and was now attacking Kant. It was another rogue.

"Oh fuck," she swore, rushing to the closet. She takes out what looks like a muggle rocket launcher and ammo, and runs out the front doors, ignoring the look of obvious shock on the faces of the two magical adults.

"Oh... look at that honey," Mrs. Bridges points.

"Oh? That thing?"

"Yes... looks like a flying spider octopus..."

"Bah. I've seen weirder sea monsters before back in my days as a fisherman off the Italy Coast," Mr. Bridges tells his wife of 76 years.

"Yes I know, dear," she responds as her husband launches into another old story their grandchildren hear every time they visit from France.

"What in the world was that strangeness?" Severus half-shouted, his eyes still not believing what they had seen.

"You never seen a medical mechanica before?" came Kenny's voice, who now look ominously shadowy, as if he was hiding a deep dark secret. The smile on his face did nothing to ease their shaken nerves.

"A what now?" Severus all but snapped at the muggle.

"Medical mechanica... it's long and complicated to explain, but ever since Haruko-chan showed up, Harry's always been involved one way or another when a medical mechanica robot comes out from the N.O. Channel that's located from his head. My niece, Hermione, also has an adept with the N.O., since she once was-"

An explosion echoes loudly, which came from Hermione having successfully fired a rocket from her launcher. How an eleven year old has military-grade weaponry in her possession was a mystery. A scream from Haruko roars, as she seemingly flies through the air, and with the sound of a guitar wail, smashes a hard chop against the machine.

"As I was saying... Hermione and Harry are in this together in a way. Haruko's capable of battling whatever rouges pop from Harry's head, and once, when Hermione nearly got swallowed by a spider robot that popped out of her head during school."

He chuckles. Light reflects off his glasses, making him look more ominous.

"By the way... why ARE you here anyway? I forgot to ask why you were looking for Hermione's parents," Kenny questions the two.

Minerva and Severus didn't know what to say.

"Well," Minerva spoke, trying to ignore the sounds of what was a massive fight outside, "I'm Professor Minerva McGonagall and this is Professor Severus Snape, and we're representatives from a school for gifted children in Scotland."

"I see... you wouldn't happen to be that crazy stalker that sent that weird letter from some place called Hogwarts, wouldn't you?"

They flinched.

"Yes, we are," she says finally, "and the letter was not a fake."

"I see. The police looked into all known schools, both public and private but no one's ever heard of Hogwarts before. Even Haruko never heard of it, and she's been traveling the world before she stopped down here in Europe. When the kids fell asleep and I was sharing drinks with myself and Kanti, I saw those letters addressed to my son and niece. I must say they're really great for pranks, and only the most gullible would believe it."

Another guitar wail smash is heard and then an explosion out front as the monster robot crashes, creating a crater in the road in front of the bakery. Harry is heard shouting out before Kanti swallows him up, and turns red before transforming. BOOM! The damaged robot is blown by a glowing fireball bullet before Haruko finishes it off with a final cut. She leaps off just in time before it explodes into a giant fireball. Kanti, now green again, rushed past, pushing Snape out of his way as he ran towards the bathroom. Disgusting squelching sound is heard, before the door opens and the robot has a relieved look on its monitor. Kenny chuckled, as the robot grabs the air freshener spray, and sprays the bathroom before closing the door.

"Hehehe... well, that was fun, but my Harry-kun no longer has cat ears." Haruko giggles again, "Oh well. Fun while it lasted."

The closet slams shut and is locked before Hermione, with a gas mask on, enters the bathroom armed with soap and a scrub brush.

Just then, the door opens.

"Ah. They're inside. I held them off long enough officers," Kenny says. They run in, and place Minerva and Severus under arrest, and Haruko, still in her maid costume, watches while sipping tea at the dining room table.

"Unhand me!" Severus shouted, only to be clubbed for violently struggling and resisting arrest.

"Quite you!"

"He looks like a pedophile the way he's dressed. Plus he hasn't heard of shampoo."

"Yeah. He must also be the cause of the street damage..."

"What! I did nothing!"

The officer smacked him again, and did a quick search. Inside his pockets were C4, wires, and bomb plans in a rolled blueprint map. They add another charge for being a suspected terrorist. Minerva's only charge was stalking underaged children and being a possible/suspected child molester/kidnapper, as her name was on the "fake magic letter" they took from Kenny as evidence. The cops tool the two cuffed adults away and to London.

Haruko chuckled; glad she planted those things on old big-nosed and greasy. Someone like him screamed child molester so better to blame the street damage on greasy then explain what really happened. Meanwhile, inside the bathroom, Hermione was bathing her half-brother. If you HAD seen Furi Kuri before, then you'd understand the reason for Hermione wearing the gas mash/rebreather. Although, it did not explain why she was also as naked as he was...

Hm...

The day started on an interesting note, regardless. Another medical mechanica was defeated, Harry finally lost his attracting sexy cute cat ears (and thus lost the weakness that made him all putty in Haruko's, Sherrice's, and Hermione's hands, and also make him get aroused erections each time he's touched top there), Haruko made Severus Snape a patsy. And for the elderly couple, it was business as usual in their old age; bread shopping, enjoying a cuppa, and being ignorant to what otherwise looked like something from science fiction.

"Hope Harry continues to wear that bucket hat," she speaks to herself, "he's almost a mini Urahara if he dyes his hair blonde."

With a cat-like smile, Haruko strums a note on her guitar.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, Hermione gets a cameo in this oneshot. This time, it's not JUST Harry who believes magic is a hoax, a mirage, fake, or isn't already attending another school, or out of the universe, country, galaxy, ECT. Hope you liked this crack-filled oneshot. I tried to claim the elements as evident in FLCL.<strong>

**But I question how a year with Haruko in the United Kingdom, or all of Europe for that matter, how many unseen antics that involved her and the Medical Mechanica did not attract the attention of the Wizarding World? Maybe they're lazy bastards...?**

**What ****do ****you**** think?** :D


	13. Original 5

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K. Rowling has ownership of the series as its creator and writer, as well as the other companies that have published her books around the world and adapted the seven books as movies. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

**Author's Note:** I was bored... what can I say? :O

* * *

><p>"Now this is bullsh-"<p>

"Harry, language!"

Harry stopped before he could finish that word, and looks to his adoptive mother who gave him a loving place to live after his abandonment by the Dursley Family when he was a year old.

"Sorry mum."

She returned to making lunch in the kitchen, as Harry stared at the letter that popped through the mail slot a minute ago.

"This is crazy..."

He gets up and heads to his bedroom, where he grabs some stationary, a pen, and begins to write a reply.

_Dear Asshole,_

_I will not go to Europe just to attend some school that claims to be the best in the world. I can get better education at any of the number of private schools here in Australia and not waste any money flying such long distances._

_Go fuck yourself with a Billy Goat horn,_

_Harry_

Harry smirked, before folding the letter, and then takes out his wand. Performing the maneuver for the Elf Mail, a pop and a letter-burdened House Elf appears.

"Send this reply back to Hogwarts in Europe, please. Send the bill for the shipping costs to me later."

"Okay," it replies, taking it and vanishing with another pop.

=0=0=

When the letter arrived by Elf Mail (which was very surprising) and its contents was revealed, Dumbledore choked on a lemon drop. Luckily he was holding a Staff Meeting so McGonagall saved the old man by performing the Heimlich maneuver. Who knew an eleven year old had such vocabulary?


	14. Original 6

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K. Rowling has ownership of the series as its creator and writer, as well as the other companies that have published her books around the world and adapted the seven books as movies. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

**Author's Note:** I was bored... what can I say? :O

* * *

><p>"Now restricting one to Latin spells in Europe is just stupid," Harry said, as he did his Magical History report on Europe. It was summer homework, and to be turned at the start of the next school year. The credit earned on the reports would go into the next year.<p>

"I never knew they even had such a position. They must really enjoy believing they are superior to everybody else."

"Also proves just how stagnant their society is if they have a Deputy Minister of Incantation Purity JUST to censor out certain magicks. Appointing such a position to prevent and remind publishers to keep the "wrong sort" of incantations of non-Latin origin out of their society is plain stupid."

It's June 5th, 1991. Harry was with five of his closest friends. They were considered a group. They always hung out whenever they are able to. Schools were out across the American country for summer vacation, and that also included the magical children whom go to wizarding schools under the disguise of a private institutional school for gifted children.

"They're idiots. What's to expect? They STILL believe in the trope that inbreeding is right. Now I don't mind incest and sometimes I enjoy a good incest story, but centuries of incest in family only is a bad idea. The British Purebloods put the rest of us to utter shame..."

Zero, Axl, Rebecca, and Tori were in Harry's living room. Said living room was spacious; one area of the room was in a concaved area and carpeted, while the other side was wood panel flooring, and doubled as the dining room. It's connected to the kitchen and the large bathroom with the bathtub and shower, and from outside, connected to the large patio leading towards the lake in Topeka, Kansas. In other words, think of the half dining room/living room as one big enclosed back porch space with plenty of windows for sunlight, and the clear breezy winds of the sunny summer afternoon to waft through, flirting with the parted window curtains.

"Really, Tori, you enjoy incest?" Harry questions.

She gazes back to the green-eyed young boy.

"Blame my older sister's perversion on such a taboo."

The boy's just chuckle and she flips them off. Rebecca just keeps reading from the book silently.

Tori Sciuto was a pureblood witch, and the only one out of the group. Her best friend Rebecca Zobell was a half-blood witch coming from a mixed magical/non-magic family, along with Zero Wily and Harry Potter-Evans. Only their fifth friend, Axl Red, was a muggleborn. Of course, Axl's family from his mother's side has a history of producing magical-born humans.

"C'mon, let's stop fooling around and get this done... I wanna hit the beach!"

Fast-forward to June 30th, on that one cloudy afternoon. Harry got an unexpected letter delivered to him by owl. He was minding his own business, playing video games with his friends on the Super Nintendo, when the open window they left open allowed said owl to fly in, and drop the letter on Harry's head and then fly back out and disappear into the woods. Needless to say, this unexpected turn of events got them puzzled. As far as anybody knew, only owls were a primary source of delivery in Europe, whereas Americans tended to use hawks (that and they moved past the use of parchment paper).

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore  
>(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,<br>Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall  
>Deputy Headmistress<em>

"What the heck? Are they serious?"

"What is it?" Rebecca questions.

He hands her the letter, and she quickly reads.

"What? Seriously?"

The others voiced their concerns. Harry replied with, "Hogwarts sis inviting me to their school."

"What? But you're already in school!" Zero says with an ending grunt of annoyance.

"I doubt they even know... or they're THAT stagnant and are like Salem Institute of Magic..."

Tori scoffed. "The age thing? Bah... they should move on. Magical children nowadays are getting their magic education much earlier depending on the country of origin."

"So Harry, how are you going to respond? Doubt you want to go to a second-rate magical facility."

"You're right on that Axl... no way am I going to travel to Europe for what is said to be a second-rate school by international standards. Sure they have a lot of magical history, but that's all it is... half the studies it once had is now a thing of a past. Plus... that Dumbledore STILL has things that legally and rightfully belong to me..."

Harry went to his room before taking his notebook out, a pen, and started writing his response while asking Zero to search his parents' study for a security envelope.

_Dear Hogwarts Staff,_

_Unfortunately, I must decline this sudden invite. While no doubt Hogwarts has great history in the past ages, it's ultimately seen as second-rate in the eyes of the international borders. You may disprove me or simply ignore this fact, but it's as truthful as anybody says outside Europe. I have no doubt already have an ideal grasp on magical theories and enough practice, and still continuing to learn as I continue school. The other reason for my decline is I am already IN a magical school. It's not Salem Institute of Magic because they seem to follow your ways of time and month scheduling. My magical school grants me a full rounded education in both magical and mundane (muggle) education, instead of fully abhorring and neglecting non-magical education altogether._

_Unlike you British, American magical children are introduced early into the wizarding world, especially those born into non-magic families. And just like the muggle education system of the United States, magical schools across America follow the same principle guidelines and rules, under the disguise that our magical institutes and schooling facilities are private schools for "gifted children". And finally, I must add note that I am a citizen of the United States. My former caretakers had abandoned me in the middle of nowhere and I would have died had my mom from my biological mom's side of the family bloodline not discover me while on a jog one morning in 1981. I enjoy my life and home here, and I do not wish to leave behind my friends for another school when I already AM in one._

_In closing, I am sorry, but I will not come to Hogwarts._

_Sincerely,_

_(Upcoming) Fifth Year Student of Sunnyvale Magical Academy  
>Harold James Potter-Evans<em>

_P.S._

_Albus Dumbledore, time and time again my mom's solicitors and lawyers have repeatedly argued to have all properties belonging to my biological parents turned over to me and my family, but time and again the British Ministry refuse to "let go of what belongs to Britain". Thus, as a final warning: if you do not turn over everything you and the Ministry are illegally holding, we will officially file complaint with the International Confederation of Wizards and a lawsuit with you and the British Ministry of Magic with the American Ministry of Magic as our represent. By the time you have read this, I will have already informed my mom about this, and she would have our lawyers and solicitors informed of this situation. Again, you've been warned for a final time, Dumbledore._

Sealing it up, and writing the return address with only his name as the replier, he goes outside looking for the owl, when it swooped down and almost rudely plucked the sealed envelope containing his letter. It vanished into the distance.

"Damn... thing almost clawed my skin."

"Forget about it now," Zero said, "let's just return to the games and forget about Hogwarts."

"The best idea I ever heard," Tori spoke.

When the reply letter finally arrived to Hogwarts, the scene when the letter was read out by Dumbledore brought anarchic chaos and arguments from the school's staff (except Severus Snape who believed "Potter is as arrogant as his worthless father.") Several more attempts in that year were made until the American Magical Ministry put its collective foot down on their proverbial throats and said to stop or face repercussions. When they refused the ICW stepped in stating they had no right to take a child who's already started his magical education and was legally registered as an American citizen (the purebloods within the British Ministry thought it was stupid the "bloody yanks" would allow mud bloods access to magic much sooner than the age of eleven). They were also sued, and everything belonging to the Potters was taken from England and turned over to America, and thus turned over to Harry's new family. Harry never went to Hogwarts, and he was not bothered ever again. But in 1992, he and his group added a new friend in the form of one Hermione Granger, who left Hogwarts after a near-death experience with a troll (and to also get away from the bigoted bullying from some Weasley boy), and she and her family packed up and moved their dental practice in Kansas. Ironically, she's his next-door neighbor.

The year was 2020 when humanity started to flee the planet on advanced-built starships and traveled to the planet Mars, which was constructing several giant craters into new planetary cities. The reason for the planetary evacuation was Earth's resources were drying up, and pollution and greenhouse gases was slowly poisoning and heating the entire planet. The move was set back in the early 90s, and didn't officially begin until 2003. And after 9/11, the wizarding world opened up to the muggles, and a co-existence begun within a decade magical and muggle governments started a merge. Only Europe's magical society refused to work with the "inferior muggles". And with the rest of the Wizarding World working with the Mars Space Project alongside their non-magical counterparts, Mars becoming fully terra-formed beyond the crater cities was a closer-to-reach dream. Harry and Hermione Potter (yes, they fell in love, dated, and soon got married and have children of their own) were at the head of America's magical department dedicated to the Mars Space Project, and were part of a group dedicated to alternative energy use and production.

By 2040, the only humans left on Earth were the majority of British magicals; the reason is they still refused to believe the muggles could move people off the planet and even laughed at the notion, even after repeated reports by leaving muggleborns humans were leaving Earth. The only ones who didn't stick around was Sirius Black (a legal trial in 1993 freed him from years of wrongful imprisonment; he also burned down his ancestral home and took the monies with him to America), Remus Lupin (a cure was developed in 2001 by America that cured the higher stages of Lycanthropy; followed his best friend to see their godson together), his wife Nymphadora Tonks Lupin, and Tonks' parents Andromeda and Ted. Even most magical creatures of sentient human emotion didn't stay, and instead had fled with the muggles off the planet to the new world. Three years later, just as they (the British wizards) finally realized all the muggles were really gone off the planet, an asteroid larger than the moon impacted Earth. Not even powerful magicks could prevent such a catastrophe. As the result of the planetary impact, all remaining life on Earth was destroyed. Most magical creatures deemed too dangerous for cargo transportation left to die became extinct (such as the Quintaped, the Nundu, the greedy goblins because they were a war-blooded race, Lethifolds, Dementors, more dangerous breeds of dragon, and other creatures deemed too hostile for human life). Earth was rendered an uninhabitable planet covered by black clouds, fire, and the non-existent signs of planetary water (evaporated instantly by the initial impact).

By 2078, the dream that took decades of achieving finally came with today's human/humanoid civilization living all across the Mars globe; fauna and flora covered the once rust red planet, clouds and weather patterns was now a normal thing, and life-sustaining water flooded areas of the planet forming new oceans and lakes. Once they were stuck within the terra-formed craters, they finally expanded outward. The magical society that left Earth started adapting fully to the planet, and Mars (now fully terra-formed) became a second Earth; a new home for civilization, with plans of expanding out past Mars onto other moons, and even other alien planets outside the Milky Way (but that isn't until centuries from now). The stagnant society of Europe's magical realm could have survived if ONLY they accepted their world was stuck in the old Victorian Age, and accepted the so-called "inferior muggles" had technology which would shame them for centuries. If they only opened themselves and joined the rest of the wizarding world, maybe today their society would have been different. No more blood bigotry, no more muggleborn racism, and especially no more racist attitudes towards the muggle world in general.

But they refused to change and evolve, and their racial views and prejudices brought them extinction.

But then again, **British** wizards are stupid...

* * *

><p><strong>The <strong>Deputy Minister of Incantation Purity** position came from the story** Odd Ideas **written by** Rorschach's Blot**. After seeing it in chapter 40 of that story, an idea instantly came to mind, and I started writing. It gave me a reason to post a letter to this story and then forget about it again for awhile longer while I focus on my life and other projects, not to mention a job that I may end up quitting because it's becoming dull to me. The**_ British wizards are stupid_** quote reflects from a story** (Wizards are stupid) **written by** LineApe**. Both are great writers in my opinion, and you should check on their works if you enjoy Harry Potter fanfiction.  
><strong>

**Rorschach's Blot, and LineApe; if you two are reading this somehow... know I enjoy your works. It helps inspire me at times if I wanna write something just for the hell of it.** :D


	15. High School DxD 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K. Rowling has ownership of the series as its creator and writer, as well as the other companies that have published her books around the world and adapted the seven books as movies. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

**Author's Note:** For those who are new to this collection story, this is inspired from **Hogwarts Rejection Letters** written by **Midnighter 13**. Of course... mine is slightly different from Midnighter; each chapter not only HAS the rejection letter, but it comes with its own short little oneshot of the reactions to the letter. I've gotten bored so I decided to do something random while I work on other things. If you have never seen the anime _High School DxD_, do so now. It is amazing...

* * *

><p><strong>High School DxD 1<strong>

Harī stared at the letter that was delivered to him.

"Harī, dear, what is that?" asks a beautiful red-haired woman. This young woman was Rias Gremory.

"Looks like parchment paper... with writing on it," he answers.

Rias watches Harī unfold the parchment, after breaking a wax sealant. There was more writing written inside the folded parchment, written in an English calligraphy of British script and old world cursive.

"Sometimes I am glad you taught me how to read the world's languages, Rias," he tells the young woman.

Rias smiles to her beloved.

"I can sense a trace bit of magic on the old parchment."

"Apparently I'm being invited to a school of magic in Europe. Rias, would you know of magic existing in the mundane world?"

"Yes. Magic DOES exist, but the underworld never interferes with wizard business as the wizards and witches keep their world an absolute secret by any means necessary, including memory erasure. We don't like them because they automatically assume anything of the supernatural is evil. These magic folks don't even believe in god or angels."

"Wow... that bad, huh?"

Harī reviews the letter once again, in which it was addressed to a Harry Potter, not a Harī Motomiya. The problem is that Harī Motomiya was seventeen years old, almost an adult, due to the fact he's a reincarnated devil, and is part of Rias' peerage. Grabbing a sheet of paper from the desk after getting out of bed, he writes a response.

_Dear Professor McGonagall,_

_My name is Harī Motomiya, not this Harry Potter. I'm not interested in going to Europe to attend some school I never heard of. Don't bother me again._

_Harī Motomiya_

He folds the response, and it gets snatches from his hand by the owl that takes out the window and soon disappears over the horizon.

Rias wraps her arms around the naked torso of the teen, her breasts pressing against his back.

"So, Harī, how about we return to what we were doing earlier?" she suggests saucily, hands trailing down his chest heading south.

A wicked smile crossed Harī's lips and he surprises Rias by twisting around, pushing her back down upon their bed, and then moves on top of her. He bends down and captures her lips with a hot kiss. Soon, they resume their love making.

The owl would have a very rough flight, returning to a castle that didn't exist in the Scottish Highlands, collapsing from exhausting upon reaching the desk of Minerva McGonagall. The old woman was not there, and would not return until the end go that day in Europe's time zone; by then, the owl had died because of pure exhaustion. And when the owl situation got addressed, she would be shocked to learn their letter to Harry Potter was refused by someone else.

They would investigate, but Harry Potter hasn't existed since 1985 ever since Vernon Dursley abandoned the five year old boy in Japan during a business trip, and said boy died but was rescued by a kind Rias Gremory, reincarnated as a devil and as her peerage. Being reborn as Harī Motomiya, he aged a few years on rebirth, and was gifted with a form of longevity on his overall life span; not to mention he has the power of a Sacred Gear.

So yes, the Wizarding World would never find Harry Potter (physically)...

Not that Harī Motomiya would ever leave his lover Rias Gremory behind. He has to serve her, after all, to be faithful to her as her future husband...


	16. Inspiration 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, the world of Harry Potter, or any and all official characters from the Harry Potter series itself. J.K. Rowling has ownership of the series as its creator and writer, as well as the other companies that have published her books around the world and adapted the seven books as movies. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

**Author's Note:** Toradora! This is an inspiration type oneshot. Likely won't make sense. Also hints a Harry/Hermione ship. I've watch Toradora! from start to finish in one day prior to writing this. So yes... there WILL be character differences...

* * *

><p><strong>Inspiration 1<strong>

In a normal school in the city of Topeka, Kansas, there were two teenagers, age seventeen, which were well known by the student populous.

The first was Harry Potter, a young lad with dark unruly hair and the greenest of green eyes. Even though his eyes were so beautiful to gaze at, his eyes had a sharp dark look to them most of the time. He was at the height of five feet six inches. It's because of his sharpened look that many people growing up believed him a delinquent or a bully. It doesn't help that though he tries to explain from time to time, most of the students tend to be scared of him. And don't get me started of the fear factor cranked to eleven if he dons a pair of rounded sunglasses with lens the same color as his eyes.

He grew up without parents. His only relatives (from England) abandoned him to some other relative who was apparently from his biological mother's side of the family after some long fruitful search. But apparently, the woman who raised him as if she was his mother was somewhat borderline ditzy.

And then we have the second person by the name Hermione Granger, a young girl with waist-length honey blonde hair, and dark honey brown eyes. However, despite being seventeen years old like Harry, her height was a bit... short. She was only at the height of four feet nine inches. Her under-developed body and the nickname she was given by many students, Palmtop Tiger, has given her a complex which in turn serves to give her a negative attitude and facial expression. Her snapping at most people in brutal ways don't help when her short stature is brought up.

Her parents separated at a young age. Her rather rich father disappeared, and her mother started seeing other people, but never gotten serious with her dates. It's because of her parents separation that Hermione lived alone today in an apartment complex in the city, despite an emancipation, with money wired from her father every month who she never sees nor does she ever wish to see again.

In high school, the two teenagers have crossed paths now and then. One had a crush on a girl who was friends with Hermione, and the other had a crush on a boy who was friends with Harry. Separate, Harry and Hermione have their own reputations that students always believe made-up or otherwise. Together, it's like they were the unofficial king and queen of the student populous. Especially since their complex friendship gets everybody whispering about it and their friends believing them dating.

It also doesn't help that despite living in a fancy apartment room downtown Hermione often is always at Harry's home eating breakfast and dinner. Their relationship is very complex. They were in love with other people, but their hearts were slowly becoming entwined with each other. Today, on the last week of August of a new school year, the two mentioned teenagers are in their junior year of high school. And like always, Hermione is at Harry's residence waiting in the living room while the delicious scent of a home-cooked meal was prepared in the kitchen.

Tonight, Mira was at one her late night jobs, leaving two teenagers home alone.

"Is dinner ready, yet?" Hermione complains, channel surfing through random news channel and boring TV shows she doesn't appreciate or enjoy watching.

"You can't rush perfection, Hermione," Harry replies from the kitchen.

Even though Harry wouldn't see it, Hermione casts a glare in the direction of the kitchen.

"So hungry," Harry hears Hermione state aloud.

Harry sighs, taking the fries out of the deep fryer machine and pours the batch onto a large yellow plate bowl lined with paper towels. He then lightly seasons the fries with salt and pepper.

"I'm almost done with dinner, Hermione. Keep your panties on."

"Stupid dog! Don't use such a perverted statement!" she yells.

Harry finished with the home-made burgers, sliding two burgers onto two sesame buns, adding swiss and cheddar, sliced pickles, ketchup, mustard, and sprinkled some minced red onions. He then prepared his own before taking the plates of burgers out, with the fries.

"Here you go. Dinner's ready. I'll be back with the glasses of ice and the Mr. Pibb."

"Hurry up," she says, grabbing one burger and takes a bite.

He returns shortly with two tall glasses with half-crushed ice, and a 2 liter of Mr. Pibb soda. Pouring their glasses full, he grabs his own burger and takes a bite, stuffing with three strings of fries from the French fry pile.

"You're welcome," said Harry as Hermione takes her drink and chugs it down.

The sound of the mail slot flipping with a loud sound is heard, causing the two teens to turn their heads towards the front door. Harry's house doesn't have a mail box; instead he and Mira have a mail slot on the front door with a wide basket to catch the mail pushed through. There was a strange envelope that was pushed through the slot. Considering the time, there shouldn't be any mail being delivered as it's been two and a half hours since the initial mail got delivered this afternoon.

"Didn't the mail already got delivered, Harry?" the short girl questions Harry.

"Yeah."

He got up to grab the letter, before opening the door and looks outside. He sees no one outside running away in either direction. No children were outside, having already gone inside their homes in this cozy friendly neighborhood. He looks around until he noticed something out of place, as Hermione squeezed next to him.

"Is that an owl?" he questioned aloud.

Hermione blinked.

"Where?"

He points towards the tree in the front yard. Lo and behold, the two teens see a brown barn owl roosting on the branch, almost blending well with the backdrop of the increasing setting sun and the bright orange colors bleeding to dark. It should be impossible for an owl to be awake like this, as the neighborhood was particularly bright at night when the street lights turn on.

"Okay, that is so weird," Hermione stated.

"Yeah... creepy weird," Harry agrees with the small and petite girl.

The two look to each other, then back at the owl. It was seemingly staring at them. The two duck back into the house and Harry closes the door.

"Whoever delivered this and then vanished like a ninja is a stalker," Hermione tells Harry, grabbing the weird envelope from his hands. "And it's made from parchment!"

"Parchment? Really? That IS strange."

"Mister Harry Potter, Inside the Living Room with the Palmtop Tiger of Topeka West High?" Hermione twitches in slight anger. "Topeka, Kansas, United States? Okay, this is a stalker AND a freak weirdo spy!"

"Hermione?"

She glares at him, making him jump a bit.

"What?" she hissed.

She looked so much like an angry cat... or a grown tiger...

"Can I open this?"

"This is a freaky-ass hoax or a prank, Harry!"

"Might as well humor whoever wanted to prank me," he says.

Hermione sighs and throws the letter at him. He rips it open and takes out elegant-scripted parchment. The cursive was neat, written with emerald ink. He reads aloud what the letter said.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Deputy Headmistress_

"Your owl by July 31? A little far too late for that Harry..."

Wait... the letter mentioned an owl. Hermione looks out the window, but she doesn't see the owl she and Harry spied in the tree anymore. It was gone.

"Well, that was funny. A school for magic?"

Hermione cracked a smile finding it all very humorous. Turns out it WAS a prank by some stalker loser, maybe from school or from one of their rival high schools. "What bullshit."

Harry takes the letter and envelope and he tears it up, depositing the remains of the trashed prank letter into the garbage in the kitchen.

"I agree. Come; let's enjoy the rest of dinner."

"Now that sounds good."

Three days later and there was an owl in the living room, trapped under a laundry basket, with heavy books on top to keep the basket from behind toppled and the owl escaping. The same letters got sent to Harry time and time again, and it was really annoying them. Yesterday was a disaster as hundreds of owls got rounded up after animal control showed up to capture them. His house made it on the news and the students at the school whispered about it. None dare speak aloud when he and Hermione were within earshot.

And tonight, again, dinner got interrupted when an owl flew through one of the open windows of the living room, with yet another copy of the letter. Hermione of course thought fast and thus the reason for the owl being trapped, and Hermione finishing her touches of her written reply on the back of the phony school of magic letter by the person using a likely false name.

_Read this you bitch!_

_I don't know who the hell you are, but when I find you, I'm going to beat the shit outta you for stalking Harry and me! Do you understand me? And when I do find the real you, you're going to be introduced to a world of pain. Don't assume hiding behind the name of a woman is going to stop me! Better not send anymore of your spooky stalker letters... or else!_

_Go piss off!_

_Hermione Granger_

Harry snags the letter Hermione written her reply down in her anger, and decides to add his own two cents underneath Hermione's script.

_Dear stranger whose name is likely false,_

_What Hermione said above, go piss off. Stop it with the hoax. It was funny the first time, annoying the second time, and now getting on my nerves as well the third time. Magic doesn't exist, and it never will (except in cartoons, anime, Las Vegas entertainment shows, and movies). Besides, I'm in school already. The next letter sent and I'll involve the police._

_Harry Potter_

_PS:_

_You have a neat owl that you trained. But the next one that shows up, I'll kill it. Seriously, stop. Hundred of owls that bombarded my house the other day were all rounded up and taken away by animal control services. And PETA is looking for you, according to the news. Too bad for you._

"Okay, is that owl still trapped?"

"Yeah it is. What about it?"

He grabs the letter, tapes it up, and then he looks to the owl trapped under the laundry basket and the books on top for weight.

"Take this back, and if you return, I'm going to shoot you, skin you, and roast you up with some Salisbury sauce with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy, mac and cheese, and beef pot pie."

The owl freaked out as he removes the laundry basket. The owl flew away, but not before snatching the letter from his hand. The talons caught his skin and broke skin, drawing blood.

"Harry! It cut you!"

"I'm fine, Hermione," he said, but Hermione already went to grab the first aid kit. The two started blushing when they realized the scene after his cut was bandaged up.

"T-Thank you, Hermione," he thanks the girl.

"You're welcome, idiot," she replies softly, her cheeks still red with the cute blush.

What was a nice dinner got ruined thanks to that crazy grey-feathered owl.

"I'll go make us some new food for dinner," Harry said with a sigh, grabbing the ruined dinner plates.

"I'll help," Hermione said, helping Harry with discarding of the ruined food with the owl tracks and feather downy.

The Green-Eyed Dragon and the Palmtop Tiger both look to one another when the scrapped plates were deposited into the sink. The blushes returned.

"So... the same before the owl showed up?"

"I guess. Oh! Harry... uh..."

"Yeah, Hermione?"

"What should we do if this happens again? If whoever is stalking us doesn't quit?"

"Hope they don't fear our wrath?"

Hermione smirks, hearing this.

"Well... he or she won't survive if we do find them."

And Harry would smile back.

"Yeah... they wouldn't."

Now, if the two will realize how close they really are, and let their hearts speak the truth instead of remaining blind to false lies...


	17. Touhou 2

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling has ownership of the official characters and the universe of the ever so popular _Harry Potter_ as its creator and writer. ZUN owns everything involving Touhou Project. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

* * *

><p><strong>Touhou 2<strong>

A half human-half yōkai with the physical appearance of a twelve year old human boy, and went by the name Harī, was roasting up the owl he caught on an open flame. Even though it delivered a strange parchment letter addressed to some English person named Mr. Potter, Harī was not one to waste food resources that delivered itself to the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"Harī-kun?"

"Yes, Sakuya-chan?"

The sharply-dressed Harī who wore the clothes of a 19th century butler from Victorian-era London looks to Sakuya who was standing behind him. The older maid was taller than him, but his height would place him to just above Sakuya's breast area.

"Patchouli has thoroughly examined the parchment letter, and has discovered it holds faint traces of magic."

Harī was amazing. Magic truly existed outside Gensōkyō?

"So I'm guessing she wishes to tell me the full results?" he asks, already knowing the answer.

And when Sakuya gave her nod of confirmation, Harī dusts himself.

"I'll take care of the roasting owl, Harī-kun," the silver-haired maid informed their young-aged butler.

"Thank you, Sakuya," he says with a warm smile, and he exits from the kitchen.

After a short walk from the kitchens to the manor's library, a whoosh of wind blew past him. With a sigh, he flicks his hand at the speeding black-white witch and stops her in her tracks.

"Marisa-chan, what are you doing?"

Frozen in Harī's manipulation of his magical aura, she was forcibly turned in order to see the displeased face of the manor's latest family member.

"Hey Harī-kun," Marisa Kirisame greeted the butler with a happy grin.

The aura suddenly fades, and Marisa fell onto her butt.

"Ow! You should treat a young lady with respect," Marisa complained, getting up off the carpeted floor and picking up her magic broom.

"Unfortunately I do not need you to distract Patchouli. About two hours before lunch, an owl bombarded me with a strange letter made of parchment."

Marisa blinked. "What?"

Harī left her to her own devices and went to find Patchouli in the expansive magical library. Marisa quickly ran to catch up with him.

"Wait, what is this about an owl delivering you a letter?"

"I am unsure. That si why the owl is currently part of today's lunch, and I had Patchouli examine the letter in the meantime."

She stared at the hanyō. "Huh?"

Harī looked to her. "Who am I to waste food sources that come to you?"

"Never had roasted owl before," said Marisa.

"Only if you know a good recipe regarding wild game such as owls," was Harī's answer.

Patchouli looks up when she sensed Harī walk up to her table. She frowned a bit seeing Marisa.

"What is she doing here, Harī?"

"Caught her with my magic. But now I got her interested in my surprise letter invite than stealing books," he answered.

Marisa pouted. "It's not stealing! I'm borrowing!"

Both mages roll their eyes at her retort.

"So? What did you find, Pache?"

Patchouli closed her book, and picks up the parchment.

"Well, it's made of real parchment. I can date its make back to 1878, so it is fairly aged in today's time period." She hands it to Harī. "There are no curses or foul tampering with it. Basically, the only magic in it is the ink. Someone was likely lazy and used magic just to write it all out. And I can also tell you that the writing implement is an actual quill from a bird's feather."

"That is antique. Judging by the script, the language is European English?"

"Yes it is, Harī," Patchouli answered.

"Patchouli, is it possible to send it back to its maker?"

"Well, it's not hard, but I can do that," she tells Harī, who smiled at hearing this.

"Excellent."

The letter was yanked from his hands, and Marisa quickly skims over the letter's contents.

"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Really? Actual magic still existing outside Gensōkyō?"

Harī takes it back from Marisa. "Sounds like it. I'm content to ask Yukari about this, but finding the Gap Yōkai is like trying to find a jewel shard in an expansive sub-universe of sukima."

Marisa crossed her arms over her chest.

"Whatcha gonna do then, da ze?"

"Respond with a negative. I really don't feel like leaving Remilia-sama's side."

And summoning a pen to his hand, he writes down in green ink:

_SORRY_

_NOT GOING. I AM NOT THIS MISTER POTTER FELLA._

A small magic rune later, and the letter is magically sent back to sender.

"Now if you'll excuse me Patchouli, I'm going to escort Marisa back outside."

"Hey! I wanna read some books!" she complained, but Harī was already pulling the taller blonde witch with him to the library's exit.

Patchouli returns to reading.


	18. Tales of Graces 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling has ownership of the official characters and the universe of the ever so popular _Harry Potter_ as its creator and writer. Namco Bandai Games/Namco Tales Studio and Hideo Baba are owner and creator of the world of Tales of Graces, and all its official characters. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

* * *

><p><strong>Tales of Graces 1<strong>

Harry smirked. Okay, he'll humble this obvious "school of magic" and its "invite".

_Dear Hogwarts,_

_I'll join when pigs are capable of flying without being mutated by Eleth._

_Signed,_

_Harry Lhant_

He folds the letter, just as there's a knock upon his door. Answering it, he is greeted by his seventeen year old brother, Asbel.

"Harry, it's time for our mission with Captain Malik."

The sixteen year old nodded, and hurries to get dressed in his special uniform he made for himself with his great sewing skills. He is dressed in black pants with additional three pockets on the right pant leg, knee-high combat boots with armor-plated ankles and knee guards, a sleeveless dark green trench coat with embroidered blue collar and gold-threaded designs on the back depicting a dragon, a combat hunter's vest over a buttoned gray shirt, black belt, and armor-plated vambraces on his forearms.

Just like Asbel, Harry was also a proficient swordsman.

"Well, let's get going. We don't want to keep Captain Malik waiting, bro,' said Harry.

"You got it, little bro."

Harry smiled. "I'm not little, Asbel. Not since we were kids and dad adopted me into the family."

Asbel smirked, ignoring the mention of the Lord of Lhant, aka their father. "Let's hurry up before Captain Malik chews us out for being late for our first field mission."

And the two brothers hurry to the front of the Barona Knight Academy. Harry never knew that a swirl of magic would envelope the written reply at the bottom of the letter, and it would vanish. But Harry would never know about this because Harry and Asbel were about to embark on an adventure of a lifetime...


	19. Original 7

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling has ownership of the official characters and the universe of the ever so popular _Harry Potter_ as its creator and writer. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

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><p><strong>Original 7<strong>

"This must be bullshit."

Harry gazed at the letter he found in his mail box. The parchment was real however he couldn't believe somebody would go to the extreme to make such a prank. He closest the mailbox, lowers the mail indicator on the side, and quickly runs towards the blue and white house while his girlfriend had just closed the garage door and sees her exiting the side.

"It's cold, get in hon."

"Mail?" she inquires, unlocking the door and opening.

"The usual mail stuff like bills and the hoax letter again came back."

"What? Again?"

The door is closed, locked, coats hung up and boots taken off by the front door rug. Walking to the fireplace in the living room, Harry turns it on. Once a fire began to burn, the hoax letter is burned as it is deposited into the fire pit. It was 1996, and one cold December 2nd. And the clouds have opened up with a light snowing for two hours now. Michelle plugs in the portable space heaters, and turns them on before heading into the kitchen.

"I wish whoever keeps sending this crap would stop. It got really old since August."

Harry agreed with his girlfriend, as she stood in the kitchen. She was in the process of putting the pot on the stove to boil water.

"So... once I get the hot water for our chocolate drinks, let's go ahead and work on our school papers, okay?"

Harry smiles and leans across the counter from the other side, and the two share a kiss as he then sits on the couch. Their cozy home was located outside the city limits of Davenport, Iowa, on Highway 61 (West River Drive). The house itself was a one-story, with a separated garage fit for a single car or truck. It had a small garden up front, a large tree, and other shrubs. The kitchen and living room was interconnected by an open archway, with a large bathroom behind one door, a smaller one located in the back, and two bedrooms. The yard space was huge, separated from their neighbors by hedges and from their left, a wood fence. They were close to a small wooded area in the back. Of course, as its winter, the trees are barren of leaves, but the hedges were pine; they however have a small layer of build-up on the tops.

Harry Potter, and Michelle O'Connell, sixteen years old, and both were waiting for when Winter Break would come. They have lived together since Harry was adopted by the O'Connell family. His coming to the family occurred after a country-wide case becoming world-wide news: the discovery of an abandoned infant by a young man and his dog on a morning summer jog. After countless hours of searching and weeks of investigation, it was finally discovered Harry came from overseas, in England. Through cooperating police services in London and going through all of the legal red tape, Vernon and Petunia Dursley were arrested for child abuse and abandonment. Harry was officially adopted once the media frenzy died, and the Dursleys were locked away in prison (Vernon receiving a life sentence when in a fit of rage, attempted to attack the man who rescued Harry from the damp ditch and had successfully landed a kick on toddler Harry; such a kick would have kicked him but he miraculously survived).

While treated as a member of the family, Michelle and Harry's relationship was more than just brother and sister. Call it what you want, but when they began to develop feelings for one another as they reached the teen years, Mr. and Mrs. O'Connell had simply told the two that whatever they choose, they will support it. So, when they turned fourteen, they changed from brother and sister to lovers. Jennifer and Chris just accepted it with warm smiles, and looks that said, "You knew this was going to happen."

"Hope mom can get home safely," Harry said, looking out the window. The snow storm was beginning to get heavy.

"And dad has overtime at his work, tonight..."

Harry gazes outside the window once again, watching the occasional car or truck, or even a big-rig driving by the property. Living next to the highway, the streets can get busy here.

"You know, I still could not believe we caught David and Becky in such a compromising position..."

Michelle giggles.

"Yeah... surprised they weren't caught by the teachers at school today..."

She takes the boiling water off the stove a minute later, pours them two mugs, and stirs in the chocolate mix before bringing them both out to the coffee table. Harry sips his gently and carefully, savoring the warmth and the flavor. She returned to tend to the ham and grilled cheese sandwiches she was making on the skillet.

"Say, are you-"

"Yes, cheddar and swiss cheese on either end of the sliced ham shavings," she replied with an all-knowing grin.

"Good, you know me well."

"Of course I do, Harry," she replies.

As the meat and cheese grilled sandwiches were being made, Harry decided to finally write a reply, even though he knew it would be pointless. But he'll never know; after all, someone did an experiment and proved that you can mail a coconut in the U.S. Postal Service.

_Dear Hogwarts,_

_Even if this so-called school exists, I don't feel like going to Europe._

_Sorry._

_Signed,_

_Harry_

He folds it, found the rubber stamp and ink pad and after applying ink to the rubber stamp, stamps down on the corner of the envelope the letter arrived in the following message: RETURN TO SENDER. He would head outside, where he hurried to the mail box, puts it in, and slips the red plastic flag up before he hurried back into the house. The envelope vanished the next day. But neither Harry nor Michelle would give it any thought, contend to just living their life.


	20. My Little Pony 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling has ownership of the official characters and the universe of the ever so popular _Harry Potter_ as its creator and writer. Lauren Faust has ownership of the ponies of generation four, and thank Celestia she gave us _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

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><p><strong>My Little Pony 1<strong>

Emerald Lightning, a stallion with a black ahoge mane and burnt orange-ish-colored coat, was cuddling up with Twilight Sparkle, each reading their own novel since today they didn't have anything to do: no homework from Princess Celestia, no problems affecting Ponyville, no evil threatening the world that requires one full adventure to save it, and Pinkie Pie's Pinky Sense was not tingling. These two ponies were lovers. Both have immense magical talent begging to be unleashed. While Twilight Sparkle had a family, Emerald Lightning was a mystery as he appeared out of the blue as a crying foal, found in the Castle Gardens by one of the royal guards. He was put to an orphanage where the sister of the Orphanage of Canterlot raised him as if he was her own son.

Twilight and Emerald met one day when Princess Cadance was foalsitting Twilight and took her to the public park. Both had a love for magic ever since they had seen the Summer Sun Celebration and both made a promise the day they met they would get into the School for Gifted Unicorns. Lo and behold, they did. Because of a certain Sonic Rainboom incident, their raw magical power surged (which also hatched Spike's egg) and both were accepted as the personal students of Princess Celestia herself. They also got their cutie marks that very same day. Near identical cutie marks of a six pointed star symbol; Twilight's had her five small sparkles surrounding the larger star, and Emerald's had none but had a lightning bolt in the center.

"Today is really peaceful," said Emerald.

Twilight hums softly, agreeing as she turns the page.

Spike was not in the library as Rarity requested his help digging for jewels again for some lines of fashion she was planning to create. They knew Applejack was busy as usual farming and selling the apples at the market, Pinkie Pie was a busy bundle of energy at Sugarcube Corner, Fluttershy likely tending to the needs of the various critters that live at her cottage, and Rainbow Dash is likely either asleep somewhere in Ponyville floating lazily on a cloud or performing stunts.

Emerald and Twilight were alone at the library just enjoying each other's company.

Yes, it was a nice peaceful day...

The cry of a phoenix roars in the room startling the two unicorns as the screech of a phoenix had disrupted their attention. Said books fall to the floor as their magical hold on the books fail. They looked up, scrambling off the couch they shared as a majestic phoenix that was not Philomena had appeared in a flash of flames in the middle of the library. Unlike Philomena, this phoenix was larger in size, with a larger plumage of feathers and was more red and dark orange than fiery orange and yellow. And it was also carrying... a letter?

"What in the name of Equestria?"

Emerald stared at the strange wild-looking phoenix, wary of its sudden appearance.

"Okay... this is weird..."

"Is that a wild phoenix?" questions Twilight.

"Looks like."

Emerald recalled a certain spell he learned in one of the books from a year ago that was how to tame wild phoenixes so their fire-attuned magic couldn't accidently burn stuff down.

"Twilight... write up a message to Princess Celestia. I got this."

"What are you going to do?"

Emerald's answer was his horn glowing and firing a beam of magic at the bird. It was cobalt in color and the bird was about to flash, but Emerald was a fast Spellcaster. The spell would channel an invisible rune of magical energy that would constrict the bird from teleporting with its fire magic. In other words, while Fawkes would fly, it can no longer flash flame. So what would have been a flash flame teleport, the bird did a stupid thing as fly... and run right into the wall.

"Emerald!"

"It shouldn't have tried to flash flame. Wild phoenixes are dangerous at this stage in their life. I don't want the library to burn from a spark of fire," Emerald told Twilight. "Now please sweetie, write up the letter. The bird won't be able to flash flame."

He gingerly picks the bird up and summoning an owl cage from the library's storage closet, the bird was put inside and the door magically locked. Twilight summoned the parchment envelope, not wanting to touch it. Her danger senses were going off and something told her not to physically touch it with her hoof.

One dragon flame-delivered letter later (after Emerald left and brought Spike back to the tree library), Spike then burped out the reply by Celestia. They were fairly surprised that Princess Celestia would come to the library herself, no less than her very fast response to the letter. But they didn't have to wait long.

There was a knock upon the door, and Emerald answered it. There stood Celestia in all her regal glory.

"Emerald Lightning, Twilight Sparkle, it is godo to see you two again. Although I wish ti was under better circumstances," she said.

The two bowing ponies got back up, as Twilight summons the letter from the table.

"I can detect strange magical signatures from it. I doubt it is anything created by a pony," Twilight informed their mentor.

Her smiling visage faded to a stern one. She looked upon the letter written in a strange language. Some of the wordings were out of place, and even though it sounded Equish, she knew that it wasn't.

"This is a very serious offense, my precious students. This letter is laced with a type of magic that is capable of breaking the boundary."

"Your majesty? What do you mean by breaking the boundary?" asks Twilight.

"Allow me to ask; what is the information pertaining to the theory of other worlds existing?"

"Well, it's just a theory. Some ponies state that the existence of other worlds is very slim. The same can be said of alternative universes where a major change has some other form of impact on the other side. But it's just a theory... isn't it?"

Celestia sighed a bit. "True, its all conjectures and theories, but we cannot dismiss the ideas of other worlds or universes existing. Not many know, but Starswirl of Bearded, my old mentor, once stumbled upon a magical artifact, which I today have sealed up away from the public, that led to another world populated by bipedal beings not of pony nature."

Her horn glowed a bit, and whatever magicks contaminated the letter was broken down by Celestia's thousand years of magical knowledge.

"The letter is now safe ot touch by hooves. However, whoever this pony or being is, to lace magic that can forcibly teleport the victim away to another land is something I will nto tolerate. You both are very lucky not to touch the letter physically." She gave them a comforting smile. "I cannot fathom what I would do if I lost my two brightest pupils."

The two students of the princess blush, but were smiling at her praise and her motherly concern for their wellbeing.

Celestia summons the phoenix's cage, a quill, and ink pot.

_Dear Sir Dumbledore,_

_Please allow myself to respond on the behalf of the intended recipient of this letter. I am Princess Celestia, the co-ruler of the magical land of Equestria. I am rather appalled at the trickery one pony could put into making this letter harmful by touch. To even dare try and kidnap one of my precious ponies, and a student no less under my wing, is a crime I will never forgive. However, I am also willing to look the other way in regards to this. I am neither a cruel ruler nor one who gives to anger easily. As far as I know, I do not have any pony that goes by the strange name Harry Potter._

_In closure, I humbly request that if you wish to send such a letter, do not attempt the same trickery twice._

_I am forgiving, but even I have my limit when my patience is tested._

_Sincerely,_

_Princess Celestia "Sol" Morningstar  
>Princess of the Sun<br>Co-Ruler of Equestria_

She frees the phoenix and used a ribbon to tie the rolled letter to its leg. She then quickly dissolved the Anti-Flame Spell that Emerald casted upon the bird of fire.

"I may not know what kind of master you serve, however I ask that you never return. Bring my message back to who you are bonded to. Understood?"

Fawkes knew not to mess with this winged unicorn. The magical aura this pure creature of light radiated brighter than any pure magic in the world. It was comparing her to that of the surface of the sun. With a screech, the phoenix vanished in a flame of magic.

And that was that.

Celestia looks to her students.

"Now then, how about we have some tea?"


	21. Zettai Bōei Leviathan 1

**Hogwarts Rejection Letters**

**Disclaimer:** J.K. Rowling has ownership of the official characters and the universe of the ever so popular _Harry Potter_ as its creator and writer. All the official characters and the universe of _Leviathan ~The Last Defense~_ (絶対防衛レヴィアタン, Zettai Bōei Leviathan) is from the Japanese mobile game created by GREE, while its anime counterpart is directed by Kenichi Yatani and produced by Gonzo. I also do not own ANY other characters from whatever manga, anime, video game, TV series, or movies that emerge in these various two-sided coin chapters. All I own is any of my usual Original Characters that may popup, and whatever else I create out of the figment of my imagination.

**Author's Note:** If you are reading this first, try and hit the chapter index button and go to the chapter after Inspiration 1. This is a multi-chapter update after months of no updates for this collection fic. As for THIS chapter, it's an interesting mobile game, and the anime is also equally interesting. And yes, the anime counterpart does have a dub for you English anime fans. If you like moe-anime girls, you may enjoy Zettai Bōei Leviathan.

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><p><strong>Zettai Bōei Leviathan 1<strong>

Planet Aquafall was a beautiful world that is inhabited by humans that possess animalistic-like qualities such as dragons or felines, as well as normal creatures like serpents, lizards, insects, and other things.

There was a group of five traveling home after a long day of adventure. Three of them were human girls that can turn into dragon girls.

The first girl has blue eyes and blue hair that reached down to her waistline wearing a light teal dress, and she is carrying with her a staff-like lance that is blue colored with silver and gold-tri-pronged tipped ends topping the weapon. She has a light skin tone, and under her usual clothes, her scales are a bluish cyan color that in appearance looks like a pair of short shorts and covers around the lower end and sides of the breast area. Just above her cleavage is a small blue gem embedded into the skin.

The second girl has red eyes and pink hair with a very large red hat covering her ears. She wears a reddish pink dress with a mini light pink bow tied around her neck. She wielded a long golden staff-like weapon with a red jewel orbs in the embrace of two golden wing extensions growing from the top of the staff. She has a healthy skin tone like the first dragon girl, and her scales were a reddish pink that covered areas around the lower areas and the breast area.

The third girl has short orange hair, dark green eyes, and wore a brown tube top-like vest with no strap of any kind, brown boots and thigh-high dark stocking/socks, and a pair of short shorts, brown, with a leather belt, a light brown color, securing it to her hips. She also has a small bandage over the bridge of her nose, a light tanned skin-tone that looks almost earthen, and her dragon scales were a shade of grass green, easily viewable over her hip area and a portion that covers over her breast area is concealed by the tube top shirt. She easily carried a giant double-sided axe weapon.

The fourth female was a fairy. She has long silver hair that runs down and stops at her feet, worn in the style of ponytails with hair accessories decorating them. She has yellow eyes and long ears. She also has a hair accessory that holds her ponytails in place with looks like two long barrettes that are orange and yellow. Her hair around the frontal and sides of her head has flat bangs. Along with that she wears a white jacket with a popped collar with a yellow rim, the ends of the sleeves has a red/orange rim from the rim and goes down to the end of her red dress with what it seems to be a golden choker or collar at the neck area of the dress.

And the fifth was a human who can turn into a dragon boy. He was a light-skinned male, lighter in color pigmentation than the first two girls, with vivid green eyes and unruly messy hair in wild locks reaching just past the neckline, the tips of the wild locks a shade of fire red. The scales are obsidian black coloration with hints of dark red along the edges around the hips, upper thighs, and crotch area, and a small portion of reddish black scales along the lower back descending to the buttocks area. A small red jewel is embedded upon his forehead. And he had a birth mark shaped like a jagged lightning bolt upon the right temple of the forehead. The clothes consist of black pants with red ankle collars, red belt with golden buckle, and detached black sleeves with a red sleeve collar and leather brown laces holding them secure to his arms. He also wears a black leather vest with pronounced buckle straps over the chest and a red-lined collar. Along the back, twin coat tails descend down to just to the knee area, made of a lighter silk-like fabric, and tinted a fiery red. He wore green-tinted metal bracelets on his wrists, and green/black-dyed boots. Strapped to the sides of his belt are metal dragon claw-designed battle gauntlets.

Their names in order: Leviathan, Bahamut, Jörmungandr, Syrup, and Evren. They all share one common trait: their ears were at a pointed tip.

"Are we home yet? It's almost getting dark and I don't fancy wanting to sleep under the stars tonight," complained the green-eyed boy, Evren.

"Not quite, Evren," says Leviathan.

Evren sighed.

"Well... I doubt it'll be that bad to sleep under the stars."

"True, but I rather be in the comfort of my own bed," complained Bahamut.

Evren looks to the girl who lived the rich lifestyle in their hometown. "So you never camped outdoors when you were younger, Bahamut?"

"Not really," she answers in a casual manner.

"Ever since we joined the Aquafall Defense Force, we've traveled to places around our homeland, fighting against those bugs and other creepy things. Maybe Jörmungandr would like to rough it out in the wilderness, considering she's an Earth-element, but I have my limits myself."

Jörmungandr, often shortened to Jo sometimes by Evren, chuckles. "Well, I do enjoy being outdoors. But a nice bed doesn't hurt."

"If we don't make it back by nightfall, we can always camp outside. Besides, Bahamut can easily make us a camp fire, and Evren can keep protective watch while us ladies get our beauty rest," Syrup says cheerfully. Almost too cheerfully...

Evren sweat drops.

"How did I ever end up in the company of three girls and a fairy, again?"

=0=0=0=0=

Despite some worries, the group made it to the peaceful town in time, and they all parted away for their homes. Evren lived a bit isolated from the rest of the town, but the road leading to his residence was easy to follow and it did not go past the town's borders. Upon entering his house, Evren immediately went to his bedroom where he stripped off his clothes and accessories, laying the battle gauntlets down on the nearby dresser drawer, and changed into a pair of pajama pants. He does not wear the shirt that goes with it.

He grabs a quick snack to eat from his kitchen, a tall glass of water to drink, and then returns to his bedroom.

He blinks.

There was an owl.

It was a brown owl and it was staring unblinkingly at him.

It was perched on top of a coat rack stand that he rarely used. On his bed was thick envelope filled with two letters.

"Huh? What in the name of Aquafall is this?"

The address for the target written on it was in an alphabet he did not understand. He couldn't make heads or tails of the strange language. Evren was very confused when he decided to open it (against his better judgment) and read even more gibberish he couldn't decipher.

What a very strange letter with very strange words.

"Is this an alien language, then?" Evren mutters to himself.

He had the urge to write some sort of message back. Considering the language was something he didn't recognize (and he doubts anyone else in the town would know it) he couldn't make heads or tails of the message written obviously for someone of importance... or was it just some prank by the local kids writing crazy gibberish to prank people with?

But, a thought came to him: write back with a humorous tone of reasoning.

Once the short message was written down on the back of the first letter, he folded it back up and slipped it back into the strange thick envelope. He yawned. He'd look about sending it somewhere tomorrow (or maybe he'll just burn it in the morning). He was sleepy. Time for a nice dream-filled sleep... oddly filled with being cuddled by Leviathan, Jörmungandr, and Bahamut. The owl would disappear. The letter and envelope disappeared too. Evren in the morning would not be able to find it, and he quickly decided to forget about the whole thing.

Of course, magic had a strange way of working. Very strange ways...

Sadly, Albus Dumbledore and the rest of the staff of Hogwarts (and some Unspeakables from the Department of Mysteries, later called in by Albus for favor trades) cannot make heads or tails of the strange message written on the back of the invitation letter for one Harry Potter. The attempt to contact Harry Potter a second time sadly would not have success.

Because on Earth, Harry Potter never existed...

But on Aquafall, Evren did exist...

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><p><strong>This version of Zettai Bōei Leviathan is based from the anime adaptation of the iOSAndroid Japanese social card game. Can you guess where Harry Potter's alternative name comes from?**


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